APIS

[The text of a talk given at Parklands by Eugene Halliday, Ishval Audio 76]

Track 1

imageI'm going to write a word, I hope it comes on the screen, and I am going to write it very low down.

Anybody who recognises it may speak, is it there? What does it mean, please?

Bee.

Latin for bee, the busy little honey maker. But actually before it was meaning bee to the Romans, the same word was Egyptian.

Bull.

For what?

Bull.

imageBull, yes it goes with cock when you are talking. Bull. It is also the name Joseph. Can you recognise the Joseph there? Well the I and the J are the same so we can put that there, can't we? P and PH are the same, so we will put that there, yes? That will do for an Absolute which is what it represents, so if we remember that the Hebrew does not use vowels in the body of the word but subscript or superscription, there is the word Joseph. That was his title during the period when he was in charge of the corn in Egypt which made Egypt very powerful, because when other people had famines Egypt didn't so they had to go and buy corn at high prices and Joseph was in charge. And Joseph means 'affirmation of distribution point'.


imageNow I am going to show the absolute origin of this and we are going to write A for the Absolute See that wobbly line? That is the vibratory, the Absolute is vibratory. It is power and it vibrates. Now you know that vibration is an alternation of condensation of precipitation, compression and decompression. Everything whatever in the Universe is vibratory. Gross matter is vibratory, the atom is vibratory, the electron, the proton, the neutron, the quark, do you know quarks are vibratory too? Two quarks make one neutron or one proton, they are all vibratory.

Now A is our symbol for The Absolute. Is it too high to be seen? No. Is it too small to be seen? Well it should be drawn infinitely large and infinitely small, so we will be satisfied with this mediocre representation of vibratory absolute.

Now the word 'Absolute' is Ab-sol-lute, which means Father, or power that puts us here, sol, or Sol the sun/Son, and lute, the expressive Holy Spirit. So the word Absolute is a triplicity of powers. It means the Father or generative power, of Infinity, who produces solo entities, monads, beings, entities of circumscribed order which are called solo precisely because of their circumscription and it comes forth through the monadic, through the encapsulated sphere of being into expression.

imageSo if I were, I'll just move up a little bit and draw an A again like this and I'm going to analyse it into a triad with two legs It isn't accidental that these forms are like this, they are the product of thousands of years of deep meditation of a method of symbolical thinking.

imageThat letter 'ah, the aleph of the Hebrew, the alpha of the Greeks, our letter in English, A, is the prime breathing. When you relax, your tongue in your mouth and just open your mouth and let the air come out it says 'ah'. Now if we say 'ah' we are using a primary phonetic symbol for Absolute Spirit and contained in the glyph of it is this. It is a three-fold function appearing as a two-fold polarity. Three-fold for this reason, it has form, it is sentient and it is operative. Form, feeling, function. Form, the Greek word is idea, definition, determinability. Any kind of priority depends on definition, idea is clear form. But every idea is an energy behaving and is therefore a power which is sentient and feels itself, so every idea feels that it is an idea and the form, form is Latin for Greek 'idea', the form of the idea is felt so a triangular feeling differs from square feeling.


The triangle is used as a symbol even in the Vatican for this precise significance, a union of simultaneous presentation of form, feeling, volition, form feeling, activity. So when you see the triangle remember that each point on it signifies and each side signifies. We have idea, we have feeling and we have drive, conation, urge, push, will, I think, I feel, I do. This is the same trinity. So, when we look at that triangle we are to remember that we are talking about this mysterious triplicity of aspects of the Absolute.

Track 2

I shall now wind back a bit. I'm going to represent this 'Ah' (A) slightly bigger. From the point of invisible, pre-creational unity there, there is an apparent polarisation, there, and the polarisation of the imageAbsolute is towards sentience and power. The Absolute polarises as sentience and power. And you know that it polarises because we can actually feel what we call a potential of action. I look at my hand, I decide I will move it. I can feel that I can move it. My feeling that I can move it and I am not moving it is a feeling of a potential. Potential means 'power held in.' I feel the power held in by which, if I released it, I can wave. Wave is an action, point is an action, punch is an action. I can feel it without doing it. Now this is the beginning of freedom and the beginning of misery, because this differentiation of sentience and power, the fact that I can feel that I can do it and the fact that because I can feel I can and yet may not means that I can feel potentials which may never become actual. Now this is a polarisation of the Absolute but, at the moment, it is a human being that is discussing it. So I am going to draw a line across here and now we have the same triangle of the Absolute, I'll put an A on there to remind us, so the Absolute polarises as S and P but all this is within the big Absolute, so the absolute has got a representation of itself as point of origin of a polarisation, sentience and power. I can do things without thinking, and get into trouble, I can do them without feeling, like rush about blindly until I bang my head on the door and then my sentience becomes obvious because I feel the pain. So I can push about without bothering to feel the effect, until I hit an obstacle, so that is one danger, power without sentience, the unconscious, drunken idiot, who doesn't know that he has just beaten his friend unconscious and knocked him in the canal and he has now drowned, only tomorrow, when he has to identify the body will he become aware that, at the time he gave that punch, he was not sentient, he was not aware of it. .Power without sentience, power so dominant and sentience so subdued, that an action that is entirely destructive can be done without awareness by the doer that he is doing it.

Have you ever flown in a rage and done something which you have later regretted? No? Silence. Well I know a fellow who cherished a cup, for some reason or other, for a long time until he got very mad at cherishing it, and he had been on the very best quality mentholated spirits and smashed the cup, and the next day he found it in pieces and he said to his wife, "Who broke the cup?" and she said, "You did." And he couldn't remember having broken it. Now that was power without sentience.

But the opposite danger is sentience without power where you feel, "There must be something I can do that is significant, there must be some mark I can make upon the world.". Now I can feel this tremendous potential, can you feel it? We can solve all the problems of the human race, but can we solve them? Can you feel you can solve everything? You can solve your marital differences of opinion, potentially. The other day a fellow was fined, I believe he was a publican, and he charged men one pound to go in the pub, but women he did not charge, and when he was declared to be breaking a law, this was sexual discrimination, men had to pay and women didn't. And he was duly legally approached and convicted of this dreadful crime of discrimination, sexual discrimination, men pay a pound and women didn't, and his reply, his justification was, "Well I let the women in free because they don't cause any trouble. They don't cause trouble? At that point, Stuart Hall nearly fell off his seat, looked at us and said, "Women don't cause trouble?"

Now, potentially they don't, and potentially men are intelligent and can tolerate it when it occurs. You see, we can be potential, in our sentience, and we can be powerful in our sentience, but, the problem is, how do we get hold of our power and our sentience and converge them to the same point.

Track 3

Now, the Absolute has done it, absolutely, there, so what we want then is a reflection of the upper triangle there. And I am going to write I, there, the individual human being who is considering this problem. I am a human being, you are all human beings we are considering the problem of a polarisation in us of sentience and power, the fact that I can make a mark if I want I use my power to make a mark And I have a potential of crossing it off, I won't cross it off yet. I'll just discuss it. I could cross it off with a George Cross or an Andrew cross. I won't, but I could, I'm full of potentials I've got all sorts of ways of crossing it off. One would be to wet it like that. Now I've dirtied my finger. Do you know every time you do something, something horrible happens.

Every solution is the precipitation of a problem. I don't even know whether that ink is poisonous, I don't know whether these are marked, 'Unfit for babies.' What does it say? Fass verschleissen nach gebraucht. How very nice, it says "Replace the cap after use", meanwhile I don't know whether I am poisoning myself I think I'd better test it Now if I get worse throughout the evening, it's possible but not certain that that might be the cause In any case, I've stained my finger and my reputation is gentle purple. But, instead of doing that I could have scribbled on the dot, Like that, and got rids of it. I have an infinite number of potentials, ways of doing things. Bu which one I select excludes some others. Now we have to be very careful about this, we are individuals, each one of us is an individual with a polarisation of sentience and power. We feel we could do marvellous things. I feel I could model a David like Michelangelo, if I had the time and a piece of marble and a chisel and a course called further education. I could do it, I can feel it. All I need is a knowledge of anatomy, and something to do with the chemistry of marble and physio and all kinds of other things. They are all acquirable because they are all in the Encyclopaedia Britannica. So what I need to do is read them up and then I can do it. Those are my potentials. Now, funnily enough our potentials are all infinite, but it is the actualisation of our potentials that is the problem. And the actualisation of a potential requires the convergence of our sentience and our power. We must bring them down like this to the point of individuation.

imageNow, what happens if we manage to make SP convergent in the human individual, we have produced a peculiar thing, a descent, like this, of the Absolute into incarnation in the individual. The meaning of Osirification, divinisation and equivalent terms means, the individual has to get his sentience saturated with power and his power saturated with his sentience, so that he knows himself as well as the Absolute does and we are not to think it is impossible because one Jewish gentleman said, "be ye perfect as your Father in Haven is perfect". Your father in Heaven is the Absolute. There is a recommendation be so perfect. How is the Absolute perfect? The Absolute is perfect because His sentience and His power do no quarrel, they are convergent. In that point there they are not differentiated. Here they are differentiated and here they are differentiated as individual human beings.

Now you will notice we have written the mystical word Apis, haven't we? And it doesn't simply mean a bee collecting honey or a bull or a distribution point, it means the Absolute individual who has polarised his sentience and his power consciously so that he can actually know what he can do and do what he knows. A being that knows what he can do and he can actually do what he knows, is a divine being, even if he is incarnate in a body. And when you get upset and frustrated by your inabilities, it is only because of the non-convergence of the power and the sentience in your being. Draw your sentience, and sentience is a means whereby you get your knowledge and your wisdom, draw your sentience to a point and in the point of your self-awareness you are both sentient and powerful. You converge S and P together.

Track 4

imageNow, have removed the Absolute from? enough? Yes.

Now imagine we forget the Absolute for a moment because all things are modalities of the Absolute, so we can ignore it for the moment. We have now got S P I and that word means 'an issuing power individuating. Now, when the power individuates, the sentience is watching the power and the power is watching the sentience, and in the sentience you feel your potentiality of doing amazing things, and you have the power to do them providing our sentience and your power don't split apart and get lost. They split apart when you feel your sentience and forget to initiate your power, or when you are so busy being powerful you forget your sentient awareness of the possibilities of the situation. When you individuate in that manner there is a fight within you as an individual, of sentience and power, and that fight vibrates the R, absolute, in the individual and the glyph for the vibration is the letter R, so we have now written spir(e) spir (speer), the spire in aspiration. As the individual differentiates, he gives rise to A five fold differentiation. This is just by vibration.

imageAre here any sonic engineers in the room who can tell us about the nature of vibration, in clear, scientific terms? When vibrations occur, they have frequency. When they have frequency they can, actually either agree or disagree. Like waves on the ocean you can have what is called a train of waves, you can have wave pattern interferences or you can even get, as in the case of the laser, wave coherence. Now the five that it breaks into are physical body, I'll put B for body there, F for feeling, M for mentation, and I'm going to put, here, an O for comprehension and a V for volition. That is a nice word, vomf-b. Don't be frightened of it, it is a good word and it means what it says. We all have these five within our field of awareness. We have a gross, physical body which is the persistent presentation in our consciousness, it is there when we go to sleep at night and it is there when we wake up in the morning, so the body is sort of a good stabiliser, lots of inertia, it won't go away very easily. We call it the lowest one because we take it for granted but really the V O M F are telescoped into the body a movement that way a movement towards incarnation. imageOriginal volition, that mans initiation of a process, setting up of a goal, sets up a seed, a samas, vav, (V )a definition of an aim, and then proceeds to mentate about it and then sentiently feel for and against, and then embody. The moment of body contains feelings, mentations, logos intellections, volitions, they are all in the body. And this individual here we call the monad, I'll write monad there, the spiritual monad, not to be confused with the empirical ego, which comes out of this being. There I'll put Emp ego, is that visible? Say yes. Now the empirical ego is built out of body encountering physicality of other bodies and material objects in the environment.

imageWe have written SPIR, and then each one of there talents coming down has to be pinned, so I am going to pin with five crosses like this. And imagine the differentiations are pinned and that is the term of the activities. When you can pin them, nail them, crucify them, then, and not until then, have you got control. Control always needs the subservience of some power to some other power, imageThe power of the Absolute up there, bring Him back into focus, the power of the Absolute has got them internal to itself and can easily control them with a very funny law of resonance, whereby it can actually cause effects with minimal energy through similarities of frequencies. But, the empirical ego, identified with the body and external stimuli of other bodies has no such capacities. The body thumps, the body bashes, the body is crude compared with the Absolute Spirit.


Track 5

Now the problem is for the individual, we are here we are at the level of the individual, we tend to find it very hard work to differentiate the problem we have. .It's very hard. How do we relate? What is life?

(LIFE)W ell the F and V are the same letter, that's unvoiced, that's voiced so if I write the V in this, backwards, Hebraica, it's evil (EVIL) now what does evil mean? Evil means frustration, it doesn't mean anything else. It means that life is going along and something stops it, and life defines it simply as anti life. Reading this way it's called Hebraica, reading that way is anti-Hebraica, because that word life and live are the same, and the word evil is the same word reversed not accidentally because it is living individuals who define what life is.

imageNow, let's define it letter by letter. Life is the labelling or working of an individual for the development for the triplicity of function. If we take the V in an archaic Hebrew manuscript, funnily enough, a bit like that, we suspect immediately that it is our letter E and it is the fifth letter of the Alphabet, in the Hebrew and in ours and it means life, itself, and it's three-fold. Now where we get form, sentience and initiative, there is life. Form, sentience, initiative, life. This life we bind ourselves to become an individual , developing the triplicity of its functions, that is life.

Now, how are we going to do this. First of all, we can't control anything unless we become conscious of it, so we have to become conscious that we do think and we do feel and we do will or initiate changes. We think, we feel, we will. That is we formulate, we sensitively become aware of and we initiate and when we do this in a triplicity unific of consciousness we are called a living being.

Before I came down tonight, I was watching a bit of a nature film showing some fish on a reef and they were making their nests. You think, are fish stupid? Well this particular fish was a very clever fish because around him he had a membrane and his predators who would live on him an eat him, hunt by smell. Now this fish is very clever, this fish had a membrane round him and when he wanted to go to sleep, he simply blew the membrane up so that he was in a bubble. Was that clever? He actually blew a bubble up and he is asleep inside it and the predators can't smell him because he is wrapped up inside his balloon. Isn't that marvellous? And it's a stupid creature did it. And another one was busy digging itself a little hole and it did it first by blowing on the sand and it rubbed around with very sex-symbol type lips, and it blew a hole in the sand. And when it came to a stone the sand hadn't been blown away it just pursed its lips a little bit and picked up the stone and moved it sideways, lateral thinking, as good as Edward de Bono, and then got the next bit, "I've got one there I'll put another one there, and a fine sense of symmetry, right, left, back and forth, then it blew again. Meanwhile, nearby there is another fat fish which also had beautiful lips and it was in an absolute ecstasy because it had gone to a part in the reef where there is a certain kind of fish there that loves feeding on the little mites that infest bigger fish. So the big fish went and the little fish came and bit their edible mites of the big fish, and the fish was delighted in their biting. Every bite meant one less feed to bite me and its eyes were going all over the place and its lips, looking lovely. Brilliant intelligence, just to see.

Now, how can this happen? IT happens because all intelligence is nothing but the Absolute operating within itself with absolute convergence of sentience and power. Human conceit of the empirical ego, makes him think he is the only smart fellow in the world, so you kill everything that's not human, the whale, the dolphin, everything that isn't human, if it moves, kill it, because we are Lords of the Earth.

Track 6

That's the empirical ego. Now this monad here has a problem. Because it is an individual it is differentiating, here is sentience and there is power. With its sentience it sees myriads of opportunities of the applications of power, with the power in it it could do them, there is actually nothing it couldn't do, if it gathered itself together to do it. You know there is a trick called the misdirection of attention whereas a stage magician holds his right hand out like that and looks at it while his left hand puts something in his pocket, misdirection of attention. Now certain types of government in the world specialise in misdirecting the attention of the people so that they will never converge, where you say we don't want the militants, we don't want a left, left, left, left, we want a right, right, right, left, we want to retain control , so let us separate sentience and power. Now the way we separate sentience and power in people is quite simple. Sentience is very fond of pleasure and is not partial to pain. So, if we offer pleasure sentience will say to power,, "Go and get it." If we offer pain, sentience tends to say, "Go away from it, so if we colour everything with pleasure and pain we can dupe sentience into the misuse or the non-use of its power.

Now the individual here, monad, a spiritual being, which is nothing but the Absolute precipitated with the job of converging its sentience and power, because it is Absolute it is Infinite, and because it is Infinite, it vibrates with possibilities. Can you feel yourself vibrating with possibilities, like Ken Dodd, he vibrates with possibilities. I have extreme difficulties in staying in one piece. I can feel my possibilities vibrating all over very hard to hold them down. And it is the same with you only you probably haven' told yourself that your potentials are vibrating and saying I can do better than I am doing. I know I know more than I know, but I know that if I get to know what it is that I know, I can express my powers sentiently, sensitively, and I can become number one in the field.

Yes well, under what we would call a survival situation where you are really under threat and you think

Well, I've no time for facile behaviour now or false modesty, now I must gather myself together.

And if we do that every time without having to do that‚€¶.

Then you are an Osirified, divinised being, a divine Human, if you do it all the time.

You would just be part of things.

You don't because you are diverted by the diverters. The world is full of diverters who are deliberately plotting to make you not understand it. There was a bomb in Teheran the other day, wasn't there? Some said it was the people that don't like Khomeni; Khomeni's lot said it is the Americans. Now, somebody is misrepresenting them, either one or both, right. It is possible that Khomeni's supporters did it as well to pretend that it wasn't them. There are so many possibilities. Now the moment you start thinking the possibilities like that, like people do that read newspapers, their brains scatter, they consider all the possibilities. Sentience then, vibrating, the power vibrates and disintegrates instead of converting itself to a oneness, remember that rule, "Purity of heart is to will one thing, one only." Instead of that you start yourself considering my body, my feelings my mental processes and my principles, my initiatives, and you fall apart. It's this differentiation of stimuli coming at us that makes us fall apart and stops us realising what we are.

The steward said very, very clearly, "Is it not written, Ye are gods." That means to say be ye as that we are talking about, Absolute being, individuated, with this problem of convergence of power and sentience in the individual so that when it vibrates and splits, you pin it, you nail it, you crucify it so thatit can't run away with you. When people come to the point of death in the normal state, if they haven't worked in life to integrate the sentience and the power, what happens is the memories of all the things they ever wanted to do, operate simultaneously and they scatter, they disperse in infinity. They haven't gathered themselves together, and they are called mortals. A person who can hold that convergence is an immortal. Immortal means you are not falling to bits. The mort part means that you substance then vibrates, and each little vibration gets nailed and you identify with the nailing so you fall to bits.

Now, if I bang this chair with my elbow, I remind myself that I have got a physical body If I feel it, I'll just pinch myself painfully. The cells don't like it there and I am thinking it was a nail. It's funny, he nail doesn't mind, I don't mind because I'm demonstrating but the cells don't seem to like it. They are ignorant pigs, every one of them, because it happens, that unless we are prepared to train ourselves to put up with painful things we are at the mercy of stimuli that threaten us with pain. And, unless we are prepared to educate ourselves not to chase every pleasure that the theory offers us, not to see the swinging hips we key our aura (Kiora) orangeade.

When we've got every cell that wants pleasure say, "I nail you, and you don't move unless I, that's here, say so. I am sentient power, power sentient of the Absolute and nobody is going to move unless I say so." Now if you have got that amount of awareness and control of your own being, you can say to your body, "Behave," or your feelings, like or dislike, "So what?" Your mental processes and tell it to stimulation of the body, your intellective processes, a product of the primary stimulation of the monad, "So what, I am penta, I am five-fold, I am pentacana, I am the five-fold being in a field which is the sixth that holds the five together"

Track 7

imageNow we can all do it. It is just remembering you have this, only remembering to do it. We can all do it. How do we remember to do it? Well the Egyptians said, let's do an eye, that's called 'a watchet eye' They said remember it, you are an observer, the eye means observe What do you observe? There is a centre in an environment, lidded that is contained in a polarity upand down, there is a brow here a precipitation, there, and a straight attack on life and a curly attack on life.image


You can either go straight at a thing and declare what your aim is an be blocked for being so stupid, or you can wrap your purposes up so subtly that nobody can see what you are doing except you. You are a watchet eye and your purpose is individuation but so gradually that you catch yourself without being aware that you catch yourself. As few of the Jewish fellows said, "Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing."


Now that mans, the right hand has a function inside it, a goal to be attained, and the intellective, left side part will take it to bits, they will be dubious, they will be unfaithful, they will think of alternatives, they will destroy the unity of the will if you let them know about it Now can you actually have in your will an intent to retain the goal and not tell yourself about it? Well of course you can, you do it all the time. It's the origin of the theory that there is an unconscious mind and a conscious mind. The conscious mind is the one you verbalise your purposes with. Then, underneath, you have got another mind which has lots of purposes it never mentions because it knows that if it did they would be contradicted, but it still knows that they are there. Aren't we peculiar individuals?


A very simple straight line? Now remember the word 'straight' means S torah, est. It means 'to twist. You know very well you can't get your bullet to go straight unless you rifle the barrel.' You must have a spiralline in it to twist it to give it an inertia, to confer upon it a possibility, like a gyroscope, of staying in the same place. In other words, straight means 'twist'. You have a will to attain a certain level of development, to bring out a talent that's hidden, and if you voice it to somebody else they will contradict you, especially if it is a good idea. But inside your left-side brain, you have an intellective tendency and that in-tendency is analytic. Not only outside people contradict you, but the memories of the total contradictions of your whole ancestry are stimulated every time you say what you are going to do. So as soon as you voice something to yourself, "I will do so and so tomorrow," all the negativities recorded in your ancestry spring up and say, "Oho, will you," they can millions of reasons why you shouldn't.

Track 8

When you go home tonight, tell yourself, "I'll wake up at six in the morning with my powerful will. Right on the dot of six, I will wake up, I will jump out of bed and declare myself an individual". And next month report to me whether you managed it. Now, will we tend to say, "What for?" I know I could do it if. I won't even set my alarm clock It doesn't mean I will hear it. But I could set it, so why bother. If I do set it maybe I won't hear it? Then I will discourage myself. I might destroy my faith in my own will. Do I want to destroy my faith? No. So why frighten myself, maybe I shouldn't. try to do this thing and upset myself like this. I'll tell you what I'll do, I'll think about it tonight, and tomorrow night I'll reconsider it. This is what we call human, all too human.

Now the whole of our problem is on that little diagram. You are a living being, our life is nothing but this, a triplicity, think, feel, will, which is a potential until we have actualised it has got to be converged into the individual, and we must bind ourselves to it. That L that lamda, that lamed, bind ourselves and stimulate ourselves. If we don't stimulate ourselves to greatness, who is going to do it, our best enemy? Our closest, jealousest, most envious friend, are they going to make us transcend our performance so that we shine and they don't? I don't think so. It mans we have got to do it, individually, nobody but the individual can do it, which is a tremendously horrible thing. No one but the individual can save himself. In Buddhism that is called the Hinayana, the little path, the narrow path. There is another one called Mahayana. Everybody can do it for everybody else. And we have a concept called the boddhi satva, that's a lot of fellows, they go about, they could be Buddhas, only they are not being. because you know why? They are too busy making you into Buddhas. Anybody who swears I will not go into nirvana, into heaven, until everybody else is in because I'm so kind, so generous, I want them all in before I go in. I can't bear their suffering when I'm up there, they're down here. And behind that is a dirty little trick., If I go to heaven and I am up there and the Universe is an absolute vibratory system, and I'm sitting in nirvana, the vibratory miseries of the rest of the Universe enter my being in the middle of my mediation and they shatter me. "The prayers of the people ascend to God," so any person that can get himself to the point of going to heaven is against those in trouble.

Do you know what is there? Three trays, in, pending, out. Prayers of people, Lord save us. The in-trays filling up and you have to move it as soon as you see it because you can't deal with it. The Out Tray, for that one, you have to incarnate because everybody wants help down on Earth who would incarnate Buddha, they don't want a Buddha up there on a throne, they want him down here. So when we look at Mahayana, when we look at the great doings of the Buddhism we find it full of helpful things, boddhi satvas, and nobody is doing it for themselves. But only the self can do it for the self, the individual.

Now, if somebody asks you for a bit of advice, you can give it to them It doesn't mean that you have any control over what they do with it, you an give it but it will not be saving unless the person who receives it, takes it individually and substantialises it by their own efforts and with their own power., self-incarnate. You have to be able to say "I am Absolute, Sentient Power." When you've got that there's nothing else to worry about, just go about being a cosmic nuisance, like all the prophets and great religious beings who naturally, deserve to be stoned to death or crucified or something for disturbing everybody. Who wants to be saved? Only people in dire straits, and only then for a moment. I remember a Welshman telling me on one occasion that he had a spiritual experience. He had been an unbeliever all his life and he fell in the river and he couldn't swim. And when he was sinking he shouted, "Oh God, save me!" And at that moment a fellow came by in a coracle and he was saved. And he was so excited on being saved and he is thanking the man, and then when his feet were on the shore, and he forgot to say 'thank you.' And he was saved and no 'thank you.' And he said afterwards, you know, it's very funny in extreme survival situations you remember God, but the moment that the extremities have been removed you don't remember God. Do you know why? You've got a wife and kids and a job to do and you know perfectly well that God will prefer you to look after them than bother him.

Track 9

Now we have the total philosophy of the world in a simple little diagram but we have the horrible problem of putting it into operation. We think that we have a body with separable feeling, separable mentation, separable, comprehensive intellection. Separable volition. We think that. They are not separable. What they are is stressable. You can focus on your body and deliberately ignore the fact that your feeling or, you can focus on your feeling and forget your body. Or, you can get a train of mental thought and follow that along and forget that you are feeling or that you've got a body. Or you can become abstractly intellectual, like a solver of algebraic problems about the ultimate constitution of matter, or you can be so wilfully pushing you forget everything else., You can do those but they are all co-present. Never do they separate. So that we have to remind ourselves these five are co-present at all times and it is our fault if we get into trouble later by forgetting this elementary fact that they are simultaneously co-presented.

Eugene, you know at the bottom, when we come in that state we are a baby and then it has to work its way up, upwards, if you fill it at the top coming down..

Yes,

Is that really the way we come you know the crucified feeling we come

Yes

And they we have to get ourselves into, as individuals, chaotic states in order to loosen that later

Yes, but you see, that baby has no such definitions. Do you know that the baby has only got one will, that's it own. It has only got one viewpoint, that's its own. It hasn't got its mother's viewpoint nor its father's viewpoint or the state view point, it has got its own viewpoint. If the baby is Absolute except that its not reflexive and therefore it has to be pushed through the stress-strain, because it's in a body with these functions but it is not reflexive, so it has not differentiated its feelings its mentations, its intellections, its solutions, it's all one, so it operates exactly like the Absolute except non-reflexively

The top part is that a big spiral, the bottom part hexonic, so it's like in a spiral stage, it comes through like a filter, like a coffee filter and then dropping through then a cone shape‚€¶.

Well those are geometrical analogies aren't they? They are helpful to think about but they are not the same things as the convergence of Sentient Power, see. There the Sentient Power is un-split, here it is split and presents itself as sentience and power with the problem, how do you climb up there to become Absolute, and you are being rattled by the condensation of sentence and power inside you. So that you apparently, split into a five-fold being. But that split is an illusion, it is only a matter of stress. It's your interest in the particular.image


Let us take the most obvious thing, sexuality. The lowest level of sexuality is believing it is to do with rubbing one body on another, yes? You know there are beings that believe that? The next level will be Oh I'm discussing that with fellow when he thinks that rubbing parts of anatomy with other parts of anatomy without feeling, it is the bottom. I'm sensitive, do you know, so I never stroke a girl unless I like her. I'm very refined. If I don't like her, I don't touch her, such refinement! My oldest brother used to say he'd never take a girl to bed unless he loved her, and I said you mean thing! It's sensitivity you see. There's another kind that says I can't take a girl to bed unless I can talk to her about the position of the Labour party. Do you know that's true, do you know that, you must have something to talk about as well? Do you know why? Because that's so terribly cooled, and it's not fair to be conditioned merely by liking is it? So if you chat them up as well. And then the next fellow said I can't possibly approach a girl unless she has a Ph.D. Do you know they exist? You find a few of them in the universities and they won't look at a girl unless she is intelligent and has done a history of philosophy, and then they would say, "Well I'm very high now." And then there's a fellow who says I can't bother with a girl unless she's voracional and that she seizes the initiative, and me and carries me off, you know. I knew a girl like that, she used to tame tigers! She was a tiger trainer and needless, you didn't have to look at her marvellous figure, marvellous face, she was called Phil. All the fellows I knew, who knew her, were terrified. You'd only got to see her in her act and you'd give up immediately. She seized your initiative, and then she covered it up quickly.

And those are points of view aren't they, but the reality is that those five are simultaneously co-presented. If you focus on one and think that's it, the others are complaining. Do you know every time you focus on one to the exclusion of the others, four start screaming? And they can do all kinds of funny things, they can bend, stretch, contract, distort, tear living tissue in their complaints and ruin the whole situation, nothing but the simultaneous co-presentation of that being is enough to make what you call the perfect relation.

Now it is obvious it is very hard work to gather those together, state the differences and assimilate them in the spiritual monad there. But if you do, you can then see the sentience and power in you is the Absolute, having created for you an opportunity precisely to do that. That is to say, you have become a representative of the Absolute invisible eternal in the relative temporal, get it? Visible, God made manifest, in the flesh, the Goddess manifest in the flesh, Shakti, Parvati.

What does it feel like to think that you have infinite potential and all you need is an awareness of that fact, and then you can start moving according to it. How does it feel?

Very dangerous,.

Very dangerous, because there are so many millions of people in the world that don't know about it, and if you start operating in that manner, what's going to happen to their opinion of you?

Can't even consider it.

You can't.

You can.

You can? One haraj said on one occasion in public, "I am the truth," and was promptly crucified for that. He was only demonstrating to a pupil what happens if you do, If you shout out.

What have we been discussing tonight? What's the lowest pub in Manchester, can anybody tell me? Don't betray yourself. Is it The Band on the Wall, or doesn't it exist any more? Go into the pub, wherever it is, you don't need to confess, just secretly go. Dress like they dress and go in ad then stand on top of a table, fortified with a whisky or two, and tell them, "I'm now going to tell you the real key to successful utilisation of alcohol," and then start describing that. What's going to happen eh? No seriously, what's going to happen? I've tried it‚€¶ you get thumped! Would you like me to show you my bruises?

Track 11

If there is a Saviour who dies for saying such things

Yes.

Well surely that is why we don't go out because as soon as we are saying it, we get killed.

Experiment. Well the child is all one like that but it is in the body and it is non- reflexive. It doesn't know what it has got, .so it tries everything simultaneously. For instance, when it tries to walk, it puts its tongue out and waves its arms about, and looks over its shoulder to see if it being appreciated by Momma, and in the process falls over its latest toy and bangs its nose. Now its only through that kind of experience that that child is driven, finally to consider I'm an individual being, in a body with these functions and they have to be gathered together And then you are an individual with this problem and unless you are introduced to the concept of sentient power polarised from the Absolute, you can't rise above that level., become an egotistic striver for perfection, which you can't get, because that's the only way it can demonstrate the plurality Remember it says, "If the seed does not fall to the ground and die, it abides alone."

Now the Absolute, in its absoluteness, prior to Creation, is equivalent to no thing whatever. Think of absolute potentialities for all manner of marvellous things, how does it feel?

Terrible.

Terrible, terrible, which is terra, it needs earth, terra, it needs terrification. So what it does is vibrate, and in the vibration it produces interference patterns. You know in the case of the Chladni figures, you produce nodal points and onto the nodal points are shuffled the sand particles and there, where the sand particles are, is, apparently, a body. But the body is on the nodal points and all around it is vibrating but not shuffling the sand. This means that your physical body, the very grossness of it is the least powerful. It's a point of node, point of no differentiation.

You know how you draw a wave like this, imageyou suspend a string between two points like that and then you pluck it, it vibrates. If you pluck it in the middle it will swing. The nodal points are there and there. If you pluck it at the proper distance, here, it will vibrate like that and you will have a node, a node, a node. And the nodes are where the matter is shuffled to. Your gross body, the visible body you've got, is the least powerful because it is on nodal precipitation points, but that is the beginning of individuality. Individuality begins with a feeling of personal impotence, so the Absolute precipitates centres of personal impotence and they are seeds of reflective individuals after they have been educated. They have to start with personal impotence otherwise their conceit will be boundless.

The baby has to feel indebted to the mother that feeds it, but‚€¶.

I didn't think it went that far, just...

Mmhmmm. Im-potent means inner power held down. It's there but it can't come out except under the appropriate conditions.

Now what do you think about that? We will wind up and say, that's a nice shape, go and fly a kite.

What happens then?

You mans about this kiteness? Lock it up and crucify it and then you can fly it. Until you have got perfect control over your own organic reactions, you can't be divinised and so the ascetic life, so often tried in an erroneous way, the ascetic life is the life of necessary self-control of the energies of the Absolute within the incarnate individual.

Well, let's think about that till our next half