The text of a talk given by Eugene Halliday at Parklands Ishval Audio 101

Track 1

Beauty, trickery, suffering, relationships, right. So we will do a diagram first of the least relationship possible. Now to make the least diagram we put down a dot don’t we? Can you see that red dot? Or would you like a black dot drawn with a dried up pen that won’t draw? I will use the red dot and the redness will symbolise the fact that the primary dot is energy. Red equals energy. Phonetically, the word red means a vibratory process of life creating a division. Now here, where I haven’t done a dot, all round it extending to Infinity, there is no dot and there is a relation between no dot and the dot. Is that clear? And that is the least relation we can talk about, the relation of infinity to finity, the relation of the unlimited to the limited. The unlimited space is really unlimited Sentient Power and the dot is a point of concentration of that power by that power, for that power, so when it puts it puts the dot down there, that is its first beautiful gesture of self-trickery. Now trick is a little form of trock, troc, taroc, tora, law. Cosmic law is called torah or rota or taroc because it repeats eternally. Only the eternally repetitious can be eternally true, to be true it must repeat forever, so there must be a relationship forever between Infinite consciousness and the content of that consciousness which is precipitated by the consciousness, for the consciousness. And that dot is the first reference point and the first possibility of the relation. Without the dot there is an extended field of Sentient Power with no content, nothing is being done. There is an Infinite Potential and no content.

Think about that very carefully. Infinite Sentient Power doing nothing. Is it any use, is it any profit to itself? Is there a profit in a power that does nothing, gains nothing, posits nothing, there is just an awareness of nothing, is there any profit? Can there be?

You answer Trevor.


No. Does anybody disagree with that?

What do you mean by profit?

Profit, profit means a rational fittingness with a purpose. You must have a purpose, you must define it and you must define the means to its realisation. Now if your definition of the goal is matched by the means to attain it that is pro fit, pro-fit. Now that ‘fit’ and facere, to make, to do, and the ‘pro’ for and pira reason. When you define a goal the goal you define conditions your aims and your sub-aims, your purposes to get it. The means is going to be realised in the end and the realised end is the profit, right.

Now, you can spell it with a PH in the middle as well because unless you prophesy with a PH you do not setup a goal do you? So we say, “No prophesy, no Messiah”. If some men called prophets had not seen that a sacrificial figure was an essential to teach people how to take suffering If they had not prophesied there would be no looking forward, If there were no looking forward there could not be the attainment of a goal that had not been defined. Now define and divine are the same word, you are divine in so far as you can define your goal and the means to it and then take the steps to realise it.

I am Alpha, that means infinitely, extended, eidetic conscious field and Omega, the big O, the realised goal. Now beauty means that which attained with ease, absolute ease. It is another word for economy. Look at the water in the French word for beauty, look at the ‘eau’ the EAU, to flow like water, like he tao we say in with the whirl, out with the swirl. You adjust to the realities like water adjusts to rocks. Doesn’t it wear the rock down and defeat it ultimately by ever so gentle rubbings, aren’t the rocks reduced to sand? Aren’t the rocks reduced to sand and carted away into the sea? So there is a continuous cycle, and the sand is represented by that dot. The dot is posited there and then ground to bits, made into a lot of little dots so we will surround that with some other dots. We will put six dots because that is geometrically correct to do.

Track 2

Now the mills of God grind slowly, they grind exceedingly small. What is meant is that when you posit a dot that dot on its own is the possible seed of other dots. Once you have got the idea of a dot, a location, then you can have the idea of a plurality of dots, and when you have a plurality of dots then you have something you didn’t have with only one dot, whereas the relation of infinity to the dot is simple, the relation of several dots to each other is not so because then we can extend the dot and make it, through passing through the dot, a line connecting to another dot. So we can say, there is a triangle, and there is another triangle. Now who would have thought in putting the dots down, that we would arrive at the Israeli flag, and that means a triad of power, form, function in two worlds. The one that points upwards is the spiritual world, the one that points downwards is the physical world, and we live in two worlds a world of consciousness and a world of physicality constituting the object of consciousness. We all have physical bodies, they are objects and we all have those physical bodies within the field of consciousness.

Now it is beautiful when we can do a thing easily. If you go to the ballet and you see a girl dancing with great grace and floating about, either on the points or heels, as long as it’s done with ease, with efficiency and smoothness you say beauty, because the model of beauty is water. Water means flexibility. It means flow, it means ease, it means beauty, it means B a house of EAU, water, crucified, suffering, I will write that word for you. One house, one zone of water, one crucifixion and one affirmation. Now we can’t have beauty unless we affirm the crossings of the waves of the water in the house.

I am going to surround this diagram here, the earliest form of the letter B is quite simply is a circle which represents a sphere. When a sphere spins, it flattens and becomes a circle. The solar system is flattened into a plane because it rotates. The same with the spiral nebulae you see in the sky.

Now we are talking about trickery and beauty, sacrifice, suffering and we will examine the relation between them. We say that unless you can affirm, that is Y, unless you can say yes to it, you cannot establish it. Establishment of anything whatever, every idea, every feeling, every active of the will, unless it is posited it cannot be established, so there must be a YT, Himalayan Yeti, there must be an affirmation of a cross and the cross symbol is an active force striking a passive force. The vertical symbolises the active and the horizontal the passive, and unless that relation exists, then there is no establishment of a Cosmos.

Track 3

Now let’s look at the EAU. The B is a house, which is a sphere. E is life A is action, U is drive, A is action of affection, so the word is saying “Life, affection, drive”, a house, a spherical container, which is our being. You know we all start life as an egg, an ovum carried in the body of a woman, and this is impregnated with a sperm, a more condensed, more formulated being, the two relate together and the life force has felt itself to be and then driven. The life has felt itself to be and then driven itself, within itself, to become itself, to realise itself, and ultimately attain absolute free, easy self-expression of itself to itself. We are all working to express ourselves to ourselves. The marvellous dancer or Olympic Gamester does it to express him self in order to become, by feedback, aware of himself. If you do a terrific pole jump everybody applauds and you know that you are you because the applause is for you, and you can see the Olympic gamester, when there is a great burst of applause, when he does something brilliant and you can see him swell a bit, he has done it right. And if he takes a leap and does the splits and lands on the wrong leg, he knows there is a mark gone off there and it is not ten, not nine-five it’s five-six and he feels smaller and he literally shrinks, he is on the way to death and he keeps repeating he will die. I remember a particular gamester who, on seeing a negro do a long jump, gave up trying and it was a very, very long jump so although he was a long jumper, he gave up, he shrank, his long jumping potential diminished. He might have done the opposite, he might have said if he can jump that far I can jump twice that far, if I do twice the practice and have twice the intelligence and twice the better coach and twice the better food and vitamins and so on.

Did he invite the thing?


He didn’t invite himself to that?

No he did not, he invited himself to failure. Probably many of you remember that particular case. But we must remember that unless we have that B which is a sphere, we can’t have this water controlled and if it not controlled, it is chaos. Control means con with trol, tora linkage. It means binding up and then flowing within a boundary. I’ll draw you an example of water flowing at random like this, this is random water. Now tell me, do you like that or do you prefer this kind of water, which do you find the more interesting? This one. Why, well it has got the point in it there which would pin it totally and having created it, it dodged the final committal and got out. And we think that is terribly clever. We are always courting disaster, you know everyone that has ever got married knows that, the ones that didn’t get married, they were not finally committed, they didn’t quite make the grade; they did not do what is necessary for beauty then. You can’t have beauty unless you commit yourself to the ultimate degree of restraint within the situation into which you enter, and affirm that restraint. That restraint is educational.

Let’s write the word ‘restraint’, the re of course is the repetition, and here is the strain, [re – strain] Spirit rotating, tora, AIN, that means an observer, there is an eye observing. If you don’t rotate, you cannot become an eye/I. If you don’t repeat you cannot become an eye/I. You must tell yourself over and over again, “I am such and such a being, I am power, I am form, I am function”. And you must say what kind of power, weak power, strong power, mediocre power, and you must say what form, triangular, square, hexagonal, and you must say what function. If you can say the power, the form and the function, and repeat it you establish yourself as a being of power, form, function. But that is the definition of God, God is Infinite power, form, function, and a divine being that is not infinite but is created and finite, self-realised, is called a little god because he makes himself as a little circle within the big circle by power, by formation, by functioning.

Track 4

The answer is some thing. There is our dot again, and when we look at that dot and remember that infinity of light beyond it, we see that where the infinity meets the edge of the dot there, there is an interface and what we are going to talk about to explain beauty and trickery, remember trickery is little troc(k)ery, Troc is big law, Cosmic law, trick is a little application of a little knowledge of that law.

I was teaching Ghreta a dirty trick the other day. Was I Ghreta?


How to handle certain colours in a certain way to produce a certain effect; it is a trick. She said, “Oh we are not supposed to use tricks.”

But we are, but we are supposed to understand that the trick is a little bit of troc, is a little bit of Cosmic Law, and the people that can’t see the trick are the ones that pay to see Paul Daniels, the tricker. Trickster is one of the oldest figures in mythology and corresponds with Mercury, Hermes, Tehuti, Messiah. Why is the Messiah a trickster? Because he spoke to the people in parables and said that hearing, they might not understand unless they repent from their sins and be saved. If they saw the trick they would repent. Repent means re-think. Magicians don’t like talking and doing tricks in front of babies because babies are not concerned with the magician’s best trick which is misdirection of attention I am going to shift a ball from one pocket to the other with my left hand so I put my right hand up there and admire it. The adult audience follows the directive, the baby is watching the hand. So good stage magicians won’t have baby on the front row because it says, “Oh Mr you’ve got it in your left pocket.”

Now this is the most important concept we can have. Infinity, by positing a finite limited zone, makes an interface. Now, I am going to enlarge that interface a bit. I’ll draw that dot as a circle, that’s economic, because the dot literally is nothing but a psychological intention, it’s an inner tension, it is not a thing, it is not matter, it is an intention within the field, right? Now the interface is this periphery here. I am going to abstract that. From the centre goes forth the radius, meeting the periphery, now I am going to abstract that like that, and that is our letter T. T is simply an abstract drawing of a line radiant from a centre meeting a periphery. Now where the two meet there is an interface, and we are going to talk in relation to beauty, trickery, suffering and affirmation that leads to beauty in terms of interfaces. The original Infinite Field as positor of the dot is called Originator. Or-i-g-i-na-tor means or, gold, heraldically the will, positing a dot, the I/eye, (Ain) consolidating it, G packing that really down, to an inner individual body, I, continuously, N. N is the glyph of continuity an affirmation that leads to beauty and the Egyptian will tell you it is water, the symbol of continuous flow, and tor, the law. The originator of that dot is the Infinite Field and there is an interface. Now we are going to put other little signs to show that when we posit the dot we give ourselves, we give ourselves the possibility of a very complex Universe, like we did when we made the two triangles. The dot, we will put KTR on that, that is its symbol phonetically, a lock, crossing place, differentiating. Differentiating because when an active force hits a passive it vibrates on that point and differentiates both the passive and the active. When somebody is modelling clay to make a pot they model the clay but they model themselves by the feedback from the clay to the hand and the eye. So, both the active and the passive are modified by the mutual encounter in the interface of both.

Track 5

So we will now say, KTR there and that is the dot and then we push through the dot and make the dot move and draw a line. And by the line we will put Z for Zoẽ, life, Zodiac, life-way. Now when that line moves that is the sign of the primordial driving power called phallus, which means rational play. The ‘lus’ means play, phal means reason, pi law. Remember that this glyph, Φ like that, means analyse your being, divide your circle, first letter of philosophy in the Greek, that means analytical power and that analytical power is symbolised as a straight line. Now that straight line is pushing through an infinite field of Sentient Power and in the process it warps it. All you followers of Star Trek know about time warps, don’t you? So I am going to draw over here a warp, like this, and that force has hit it like that. The travelling line, which is nothing but the point repeated, has hit the field a created a receptive warp. And I am going to write for that travelling line the letter I and I am going to write for this warp U and then I am going to put the two together and then I am going to put the two together in a special glyph, the recipient and the donor. The whole Universe, everywhere at every level, in all cases throughout all time and all space is nothing but activated space warping recipient sentient power wrapping round it. And this warped bit is this dot prior to its condensation.

So we call this one the drawing board and remember that the sphere which is what that dot is, if we spin it rapidly it becomes a disc, like that. That is our original drawing board, a flattened disc. Think of the Solar System, flattened and think of the galactical energies from outside the Solar System driving and hitting the plane of the Solar System and producing changes in the weather of the planets. That actually happens, that forces from the outer galaxies hit the Solar System and warp it and make it vibrate and produce the phenomena that we call the perceptual world.

So we have a drawing board there and a pen there. That pen is the phallic pen. Do not confuse phallus with physical organ suspended on ordinary males on Earth. The penile weapon is not the phallus, phallus means a power that reasons with its travelling and its reason is perfect logic, Cosmic Logic, the logologic. It is not at the mercy of anything, not at the mercy of a stimulus it is itself the stimulator. When the male organ responds to external stimulus, it proves that it is not the phallus. When the owner of the same has perfect self control and can either use it or not use it at will, then that power is the phallus, that is true phallic power.

Track 6

Now when this relation together produces the Universe it does so, because as you can see there is an interface. I will draw that a bit larger like this. Now this is the propelling force and this is the recipient force and between the two is a zone of inter-action like that. Now what we call consciousness of the objective world is nothing but the double function of the inter-space between the activating and receptive field, so the interface is the means whereby we become conscious. Now if we don’t have an inter-face in that manner, we cannot be conscious. If we start to drowse we lose awareness of the interface, we fall asleep, we will go into a deep sleep, dreamless and we will know nothing. And that nothing is like it was before the Universe was constructed.

Now you see that we have above the tree of life three words. Now this word at the top means an eye, so I will draw an eye there. It also means to negate because it represents the Observer. The eye sees not itself but by reflection. That צ is ayin. That letter has been reduced from the Egyptian drawing of an eye, like that, to a letter like that. All they have done is taken the corner of the eye like that and the sign underneath which is like that. That is the Hebrew version of that Egyptian eye, which is ayin and it has got an attack, ayin, there is an attack on it, a glottal attack. It means absolute positivity and the Y means affirm and the N means negate. It means absolute yes-no observer, absolute yes-no observer. The observing awareness is only observing when it posits for itself a dot, which is the sphere condensed. If it doesn’t make that sphere it hasn’t got an object, if it hasn’t got an ob-ject it is not an ob-server, but when it posits it has to affirm a negation. Is not the dot a negation of infinity? In positing the dot has not the Infinite Sentient Power that we call the Godhead, has not that power by positing that dot, finited, limited, a zone in itself, and it has affirmed it, said yes to no. That that word translated as the like nothingness, the beyond-ness of all phenomena is the observing awareness that posits negations and the negations are the world of phenomena that we know. All the forms that we see are the negations of Infinity and the negations of forms other than the ones they posit. A square is not a triangle, a triangle is not a hexagon. Every time you posit a specific form you negate an infinity of other forms that you could have posited, so you have to say absolutely yes to no. So that is three letters. And here are another three that the PH really is that Φ . It is one letter.

Now Soph means wisdom, Sophia means affirmation of wisdom, and that is the reverse of phos. Phos is light. Light is consciousness, light is the symbol of awareness of sentience, of knowingness. And the phos is reversed because that Soph is going to go right back to the observer and say to it I know that I know. Remember how the anthropologist put it? There is homo sapiens, a fellow that is fairly wise, knowing, but later, perhaps after three million years of evolution we come up to a point about forty thousand, fifty thousand years ago, homo sapiens, sapiens, two sapiens. That means he who knows that he knows. The early men shambled about knowing carrots and turnips and peaches and edibles and in-edibles, and they were identified with the object, and at a certain critical time between forty and fifty thousand years ago, a man suddenly said, instead of thinking about the external objective world, I am going to think about thinking, about the nature of thought and he received the name of homo sapiens sapiens, he who knows that he knows. Now there is a tremendous leap forward in human evolution the moment a man, instead of thinking about the external world, suddenly thought about knowing that he knew, thinking about thinking, thinking about how, thinking about the mysterious power that could actually posit a Universe and know that this Universe is posited by this sapience. This knowing power, this wisdom that sap is the same thing as that soph and it is there reflexive.

Track 7

So the original eye, the observing eye/I, turns back on itself to remind itself not to get lost. When you do this we call it the act of resec, reflexive self consciousness. You say not only that I see you but I see that I am seeing you and I am reminding me that I am seeing, that is reflexive that is that diagram going that way. Ayin posits Soph, soph returns to ayin, the observer posits its own wisdom, and then returns the wisdom to the observer, Now, if you did that and nothing more there would be no separated world as we know it because there would be an absolute identity between the observer and the known or wisdom observed by the observer. So we take this same phos, light, and we write another word a synonym here also meaning light and now this light has been split, that is the whole light of the Observer observing himself and now it comes out, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. When the phos or light turns over and splits into seven modalities, which are the colours of the rainbow, it has made a light that will radiate from the centre and that light would enlighten by analysis, all created being. Now all those, we have got three, three and three making nine, are vested in the tenth, posited as that prime point which we said is KTR, was a locked turning place, a point of the assembly of the seven rays of the aurs? And we have inside us seven deadly sins, seven corresponding virtues, seven powers, seven colours. The word ‘colour’ mans gulletal differentiation, appetite separated into seven kinds and they are posited in that dot. But that dot is a location, it has got three dimensions. It has got location but no dimensions. We want to get it into three dimensions in a human body so we have to push the dot to make the line, and push the line, and push the line to make a drawing board and then push through the drawing board projective geometry and make for ourselves a three dimensional object called the ashlar or cube, one two three four. The fourth one is the first three dimensional, tangible God a God that can be worshipped, it’s a three dimensional object and its name there is mercy. You know how people popularly say, “Oh it’s a mercy I’ve got a car”, on a rainy day. Whatever is three-dimensionally existently available for use, is a mercy. Prior to that three dimensionality there are only abstractions, a plane with length and width, no depth, a line with length not even a plane, and a dot merely a location, abstraction, a mere abstraction, which, by precipitation becomes three-dimensional reality. Now at each point there is an interface and it is in the interface and nowhere else that consciousness exists. You can’t be conscious unless you project a resistance and then bounce on and come back.

Track 8

So again let’s examine the interface, rather more carefully. We have physiologically an interface in the retina, we will have an eye there, and there is the retina, and there is the lens on the eye, there is an object outside, and the light shining on the object, bouncing into the eye, hitting the retina. Now behind the retina is a nerve going to an ocular centre in the back of the head, and a store of memories, and a feedback to the retina. And a store of memories of previous things and a feedback to the retina like that. Now the retina is the interface between the outer world and the inner world. And you have another interspace in the ear drum where sounds hit you from outside are received by the brain inside and interpreted by the mind, that is not the brain, its much finer than the physical brain, and has made the brain as a recording device.

Now in that simple diagram of the retina, the interface there can be repeated in the ear drum and when you put a finger and thumb together like that and feel it, you can, by simple demonstration show by focussing consciousness in the thumb, you can feel your finger and by focussing consciousness in the finger you can feel your thumb. The interface between the finger and the thumb is the zone of consciousness of touch. The interface on the eardrum is the zone of consciousness of sound, the interface on the retina is the interface of sight, colour, light, dark, and you have interfaces all over the body. Where ever there is a cell in the body surrounded by other cells, there is an interface. Where ever the interfaces are there is consciousness.

Now it is the will to posit the original dot, the Hebrew word is yod, YOD, that is the place on which you can bounce and return to your self like the ayin observer bounced from the self-wisdom of itself back to itself in a reflexive act. Now in the reflexive act you discover that what you thought was the external world was really a projection of your own intention, nothing but. There is no objectivity in the world as the naïve mind thinks there is nothing in the world but the deliberate projection of sentient power field in itself to provide itself with a world to observe. The sentient power has made the world and we make our world and we interpret what we make, and when other people interpret the world in ways we don’t like we call it disagreement, and when we project and somebody else sees what we projected and describes it in the same words we do we say, “Intelligent person”. Our concept of the intelligence of other beings is nothing but our realisation that this being agrees with us and therefore must be intelligent, whereas the stupid are those who can’t see what we mean. We are all projecting a world and insofar as we conspire to agree in the nature of the world, there is a common world, but in so far as we disagree about the nature of the world, there is no common world. We are all projecting our own universes and our disagreements and our agreements are a product of nothing except the coincidence insofar of our wills or their non-coincidence.

How do we feel about this? You sit there and realise now that the very body in which you sit and in which you tend to say “I”, and think of the body but think more carefully. I means the Observing Consciousness of the body in the body and think that everybody else in this room is a projection of the consciousness of each one of us. Now how does it feel to feel there is nobody here really except our intention that there be people here, do you like it, do you like it?


How does contingent relationships like if I asked the nearest person to me to strike?

Shall I send Peter Lelonek to you?

Where is that strike?

Where is he? On the interface. You have willed out to a limit called skin surface. Another person has willed out to skin surface. You then bring together two skin surfaces and that is called contingent relationship, you are willing so far. And making an integument, a binding surface because you don’t will to will to infinity, you will to make of yourself a zone to be recognised as a being, there is your contingency and there is your possibility of a fall because if you identify with the periphery of your contingency and become attached to the opinion of another person about you, you have left the centre of our creativity and you have forgotten that you are an observing, intelligent, sentient power creating your universe. The universe that Arthur Scargill was trying to project and Macgregor was trying to project they met and their interfaces came to no agreement did they? so it was stalemate. But weren’t they both projecting and trying to influence each other and creating the interface and determined to impose on each other, and not to give in, and to try to discredit each other and undermine each other’s morale by insults, saying funny things to a reporter who says, “Is Scargill physically not well?” “No” “Well is he mentally not well?” “No he is not that either.” And they sling rude remarks at each other to undermine morale because if they undermine morale they weaken the will. And if the will weakens the projection falls back onto itself and if it gets very negative it falls right back onto centre and the person dies as to the external world, leaving a little carcase there which the other fellow decently buries and retires back into the field that projected it.

Track 9

Eugene is there such a thing as ocular sound?

There is a process called synaesthesia which babies experience quite a lot, and as a child you have to learn not to do it, because it is a bit of a nuisance. When I was a kiddie when my mother spoke, lights used to come out of her mouth. Many, many children have that, that is called synaesthesia. Adults don’t like it. Supposing somebody was being polite to you but feeling very horrible to you and they make a kind of nice hopeful, delicate, green spring colour, yes, and they speak and out comes filthy, dark- brown red, would you like it? Did any of you see the film called the Exorcist, did you? Where a little girl produces piles of plastic ughrrrrr, and that is what would happen in total synaesthesia unless you were a hundred per cent sincere, you would expose yourself, wouldn’t you? You would be thinking dirty thoughts and saying nice things, the words wouldn’t match the colours would they, no?

How do you spell it?



Do you know how to spell aesthesia?


Well do you know how to spell aesthetic? No it is not. We must start with an E and an S


Well it is like that only you have got an IA on the end. SYN, do you want it American or English, AE, yes, S TH IA., yes is that right? No it is not. We must start with an e and an S. Ah?


Can we foist it on you with a trick?



Can it be spelled?

Oh yes, it is in the dictionary.

How is it spelled then?



Yes, do you want it with an E or an AE?


AES TH ES IA. Is that right? Yes?


Does that mean that sound is seen in colour?

Synaesthesia? No it means that all your five senses can actually, in the field as in the brain, interfere with each other. So if I look at that light and then pass it through my ocular centre to my audial centre I will hear it. It is quite common, but if I pass it through the centre at the root of the nose I’ll smell it, yes? But if I go like that with my finger tips I can feel it, like a tangible contact, and I can taste it.

And is this quite well known?

Oh yes, yes, very well known. It is quite common in children and it has to get rid of it very soon. If you don’t you will betray yourself, you will show a pile of muddy colour when you are saying something nice. It will be no good having the gift of the gab or the Blarney Stone if every time you said something nice something horrible came out.

Now I knew a fellow who fell down and ad to go to hospital because he suddenly fell into synaesthesia, and he was talking, to his wife one day and when she opened her mouth, frogs came out. Frogs! They were jumping out of her mouth like this and he hallucinated. That is what the psychiatrist said, “You have hallucinated”. He hadn’t, he has seen frogs. Do you know what the frogs meant? They were psychological precipitates of vaulting ambitions. His wife wanted a new car, a new house, new carpets, new mink coat new this, new this, pwhish, pwhish, and he suddenly saw these frogs, and he wasn’t used to frogs, I am used to them but he wasn’t so he had to go in hospital, till the frogs stopped.

Is this the origin of the pink elephants?

Pink elephants? Well you know the word elephant means the appearance of God, yes? El that is God and the fan part fane, ‘to appear’ that is to appear. Elephant means appearance of God. Now for an ordinary small human being, meeting an elephant for the first time, not knowing whether that thing was the tail or the trunk, like Old Chinese Proverb, “Elephant very big like God can’t tell whether he goes forward or backwards.” Supposing you suddenly met an elephant, a big one, and you are a little man, the size of a Dravidian friend of mine, he is four feet nine, and he suddenly meets this appearance of God and it makes a lovely noise like torah and the nose goes brhaaar, like that. How does he feel? Well he feels pink.

Why does he feel pink?

Why pink? Well he is not big enough to be angry. [laughter] True. You know what the Right, how they sing The Red Flag, don’t you? “The people’s flag is deepest pink, it is not so red as people think,” is it? Because they would love to get angry and throw out Mrs Thatcher, physically, in fact, throw anybody out who gets in the way, but when they think about the comeback and the charges of cavalry and the plastic bullets in the eyeball, the red pales, and they only go pink, they don’t go red. A well-read/red man has more courage than an ignorant man. He has got more principles to fall back on.

Track 10

Please could you just go back to a bit about the interface again?

The interface?

I am having trouble how to relate one interface….

To another? Right.

Yes I am trying to explain to some one not present.

Introductory what?

To somebody not present

Well, I’ll draw you an interface, are you ready?

What a head.

Do you like it?

Do you know what those two beings are trying to do really?

It began with two pre-sexual mono-cells like that, there is the interface. That one is a bit smaller than that one isn’t it? So it is envious so it tries to bite a bit, so it goes like this and sucks. Yes, it sucks by expanding its body that way, yes and a bit of this one goes in like that, and because they are doing their own interpretations the sucker thinks he is winning and the one that sucks thinks he is very proud of his performance, yes? Do you like it? Now there is no duality, non-duality advaita. There is no duality because it is all an infinite field of Sentient Power.

And so we are back.

But you know if you want to kiss somebody you really want to smell if they are worth eating? Do you know that? Have you ever thought of that?


Well haven’t you, in relation to your little boy, at some time said I could eat him? And then you hoped that nobody was taking you seriously, but do you know they are a very good source of protein? And I’ll tell you this, if you eat all the babies you will have, do you know what will happen? You won’t have anybody to look after you in your old age. Do you know that is true? Any world sociologists can tell you that, in all the countries where there is the least food there is a very high birth rate and a very high mortality rate of the children. So the parents will have a lot of children because a lot of them are going to die, and who is going to look after them in their old age.

So you would not think an ordinary kiss, you know kiss is a Greek word for that, the interface when two spheres meet. It actually, phonetically says, “care” it says keh. Do you know., Germans don’t kiss precisely, Germans don’t kiss like this, they don’t kiss like that develops, so kissin’ is a cushion, [kữssen] while to kiss is a kữss. So to be a proper German you kiss like this, you are just finding out whether the other being is edible. I am not joking. Do you believe it?

No, … I guess I do.

Isn’t it terrible, you say an elementary biological truth that is self-evident and somebody says they don’t believe it! How can you not believe it? So really you do believe it but you don’t want to admit it, because it makes you ungovernable. The next person you kiss you are going [laughter]. “Is it edible or not edible or not edible?” And they say, “Don’t you dare find out if I am edible!”

I’ll remember this on New Year’s Eve.

Good. You find that very often a woman ‘s chief weapon at a big party is to get the flu beforehand and then go round and give it to everybody, isn’t it? To make all the unfit retire to leave the space open. Do you know one of the funniest things about nurses when they go to hospitals as beginners? They arrive there with different menstruation periods and within a very, very short space of time they are all menstruating together. Can you guess why? They all want to know when pregnancy time is, they have got their eye on that young doctor, in his innocence, and we must have a fair start mustn’t we? Do you believe that?

There is an old saying, “You can’t give it away.” It is true.

The whole thing about law, Cosmic Law, Torah, Rota, is this, that you are dealing with nothing whatever except Sentient Power projecting a Universe, through you, first projecting you as a point for investigation and positing and then through you, projecting a Universe, uniquely, your version.

Track 11

But are you saying you are wanting us to eat each other?

Of course, of course, if you are edible. I mean big firms do it on little firms, don’t they?

M mmm.

It is true in the business world isn’t it? And if it is true in the business world it must be true in the monkey business world in other words, Cosmos.

But surely this can’t be at the physical level and not in the historical sense with cannibalism, etcetera, people have eaten each other and found it…

Very good, but it makes them nervous about you. How could you have eaten a few if they are your own God?

Historically, then ancestrally we have all been cannibals.

Oh yes, definitely.

So we have l eaten each other many times.

Oh yes, yes, yes.

So we are now eating each other..


In a slightly more refined manner.



You call it slightly more refined.

I’m not saying I prefer it but…

Aren’t there certain euphemisms among men called “Going for a nibble”?

Yes, did you say a nipple or a nibble?

No, I am talking about fundamentally cosmic fact. And whatever is true cosmically is true biologically for individuals.

Yes but as taking it through the sages….

Aha, for what? Naïve cannibalism to refine cannibalism

Have eaten some of the various level of, if you like…inter space pop corn.

Like stealing money from an unwary client…..

Then through indigestion


Through eventual indigestion,


Through individuation.

Well, if you practice very hard eventually you don’t have indigestion.

So you are holistically in all in all in all accepting.

That’s all, even if they are not.

Even if they are not, you are it.

Mm, that’s right, and that’s the whole meaning of that horrible thing that offended the disciples of Christ when he said if you don’t eat my body and drink my blood, you have no part in me. And many were offended and left him, because he was recommending primitive cannibalism about which all the authorities knew. A plane crashes in South America, there is nothing to eat, so they eat each other, yes? Seems not bad, providing the person you eat is not too bad, not indigestible, not too stupid. You don’t want to eat the brains of a stupid person do you?


But, in the old days if you fought a hero, a great fighting fellow, intelligent and managed to kill him…

You would get a bit.

No, you would get the lot. And if you had people that helped you, you let them have the toe-nails while you ate the brains. It’s true. When they fought they ate each other. Yu know the expression ‘Guts for garters’? It’s true. In Indian History and elsewhere, when you defeated a person you ripped his tum up, pulled his guts out, went like this, whistkleish and tied them round a girl’s legs as a decoration and she was very proud. But the fastidious said, “Vy don’t your vife impressed already?”

We are refined so you don’t call it eating when you send a fellow a bill that is excessive, do you in the hope that he is stupid enough to pay it. Isn’t that eating?


It is, it is merely more subtle, but is it more moral?


Yes it is! Yes because the rules of morality are ‘Be more subtle’. That is what being moral means. Be so subtle nobody knows you are doing it.

That’s not morality.

Yes it is, that is what morality means. Morality means keep up the walls, the murals. Ethics is a bit more refined. Ethos, theos, it is the way God behaves. Do you know what God does?

So subtlety is not ethics?

Oh it is very ethical. No man has seen God at any time. Ethos theos are the same word, God. You haven’t seen God but do you know God is eating you?


Do you know that you are working for God and don’t know it? Do you know that if you cheat somebody you are working for God,…to wake that stupid person up that is so dim they can be cheated. There is nobody not working for God. Sorrow must come, woe to him by whom. There is no such thing as an existential being that is a non-eater. Do you cry when you swallow a sandwich full of bacteria? Supposing you have a cheese sandwich, shelf life…what? Yes? It is full of bacteria, and you swallow it. You are interested in the cheese, not the bacteria, and you go whoish and squirt hydrochloric acid in their faces don’t you? Don’t you cry every time you eat? Haven’t you notices a tendency for fluid to appear in your eyes and nose when you eat? Do you know that is a very ancient unconscious recognition? You know the walrus, the Carpenter, the oysters, “Lets invite the oysters to tea.” They are the tea aren’t they, true or not? True but very uncomfortable unless you have the mentality of a realist, non-sentimental.

Track 12

Isn’t the walrus God, the carpenter Christ and the oysters appetite?

Very good, yes. The WAL, which is Norse for a whale is Leviathan and means the state, the rus is a form of ruach, spirit, so you have the law of the outer world, wal, and the law of the inner world, ruach, so the walrus is both this world and the next, the inner world and the outer world, and we are the oysters. Now if you are a clever oyster you know how to avoid being digested.

So there is hope.

But he is swallowed whole, acquiescing in it and setting up anti-bodies against the digester, yes? When you do that God says, “Well done thou good and faithful servant,” ‘cos he likes individuality. That is why Jacob fought God, doesn’t it say that in the Bible? And one, he fought him all night. God kicked him in the thigh and dislocated it for him, but that was only a mnemonic to remind him.

So Christ sets up his own crucifixion?

Oh definitely, yes.

So as to be eaten.

Yes, he goes around and annoys,

And gives everybody else indigestion?

No, some people like it

But the idea is to instil …

Definitely, there is no escape from that crucifixion now. I don’t care what nationality a person is, what religion there is it makes no difference, he made an historical mark that very tough Jewish boy by getting crucified after annoying the establishment, so we can’t get rid of it. I mean, Jews write books about Jesus, yes? They do you know. It is an inferior and badly educated Jew that would say I don’t believe he ever existed. He was a controversial figure with a terrible capacity for annoying the establishment and then, having built up a big enough audience to get crucified and then leaves a figure of a crucified man in the mind of the human race for ever, no escape. It doesn’t matter whether you are nominally a Christian, you could be nominally titually a Christian and not a Christian at all, or you could be nominally a Muslim or a Jew or a Hindu, but if you believe that to be existent is to be crucified, you are already a Christian. Because the Chris is the cross

And in the melt in the moment of the heat of what you feel to be the fact self-realised.

Yes, of course, and if you allow yourself so to be eaten by anyone, consciously, you survive.

Let’s take the analogy of drowning then.


When you are in that predicament of drowning then total acceptance of it will in fact see you through it.

Yes I once drowned…

In a sense of the realisation of what would be of advantage to you.

Yes, I once drowned and I’ve known five other people that have drowned and have had artificial respiration. They all had one thing in common, great annoyance with the resuscitating man. Saying, “Go away, I’m O.K. There is a certain critical point when you know that you have had it, and at that moment the whole time sequence of thought processes changes. Everything slows down and it goes very, very calm. Then somebody starts pumping to bring you back and you get very annoyed. And you say, “Leave me alone I’m fine thank you”. “No, we are resuscitating you”. “No you are not you rotten so and so you are bringing me back into this miserable, externalised, peripheral, horrible excremential world”.

That is the experience.

It’s true.

Track 13

There is no death. Identification with a finite is the only death there is.

So in the process of drowning you have got more time to actually assess…

Oh yes, yes.

As opposed to being hit by a carrot so many miles an hour and…

Yes that’s right. You know how lovely it is, do you ever have a mad time when you decide to listen to the TV or something, on a weekend and you hear everything one after the other beginning with Songs of Praise. At a certain critical point you turn it off and a three-dimensionality of peace descends on you.

Well they were doing, they were doing it tonight…….from Birmingham

Oh yes?

It’s a lovely thing if you can get it.

Interesting enough we can listen to music can’t we?

Not forever

No then it is called the record comes to an end.

Luckily. Even Mozart comes to an end.

But if you are listening to something of that nature it has to be fine but when it comes to an end it feels as though there is something missing. In a way it is a different stimulus isn’t it to the….

To the sound. The sound it is not nothing, it is balanced energy, which feeds you, and as you have been annoying yourself with Stimmung, yes, you can get a very good up to date modern composer and you play that record to get the money out of it, how did it cost you? You wouldn’t play it once would you? If you have paid twenty pounds for something you are going to get twenty pounds worth of listening aren’t you? And suddenly you think how horribly empty this is, what a feeble attempt. It is supposed to be a great new movement, a new start of the musical world, and you get your twenty pound’s worth of value out of it, and it gets progressively emptier and emptier.

But there are certain classics that have the opposite effect aren’t there that they can act

Only to particular people. Who are your favourites?

Except Beethoven and Mozart l… there is certain of their music that there is no doubt, when it is on there is something fulfilling in it and when it stops it is like a hunger to put it on again I’m not saying because I should repeat it and repeat it and repeat it but there is something fulfilling about that […] in it.

Only because you have not had enough yet and what you don’t recognise that inside your skin there is a world which is you and the external music stimulates….

That which tries to suggest that…

In you and make you aware of something about you that you want to know and that you call satisfaction with the music you are not. You are satisfied with you and attribute it to the music and you say Beethoven is a great guy. How do I know? Because I’m a great guy, did I not respond to it? Isn’t that the essence of musical snobbery and makes you aware about something about you. Isn’t that the essence of musical snobbery. Do I feel great when I listen to those quartets? I can assimilate them, may none of the other lesser mortals. Would you like some Strauss waltzes playing to you?

Not fit to know.

No if you were condemned to listen to the same piece of music forever what would it be? Desert Island discs what would you take with you?


Desert island discs you are allowed one record, what would you take?

I don’t know, I wouldn’t take…

You have got to take one, Desert Island Discs. You are the Desert Island, you have got a record playing in you, and the record that you are playing was invented by you. It is your composition.

Well I’ll take that then.

You can’t not. So that is a good point to finish. You can’t not get away from yourself, can you? Does that mean you can or you can’t?

You can’t.

You can’t not? That’s a double negative.

You can’t get away from yourself.

It is a double negative, you can’t not. You can get away from yourself.

How do you do it? the way you do it is you remember that you posited it and stop positing it. The mind then goes void, and nothing at all, like before the dot was put down. How do you feel when you have got nothing in your mind? Or better still, how do you feel in the midst of a deep, dreamless sleep undisturbed by anything? Do you like it?

You are not aware of it.

Ah but you must be aware of it, it is basic yoga, it is basic yoga because if you did not have an awareness of it you wouldn’t be able to say, “I slept well”. And you know when you have slept well, don’t you?

I feel very, very good when I’ve had a deep.

Really deep dreamless sleep. Do you know that is the same as the Buddhist nirvana that everybody chases, a totally void mind, in which after playing all the great works of the Universe, you don’t play. You are aware that you are resting

Is that when you are released from time?

Total and it says, “And there will be time no more”, stop the damn thing turning and turn off the record and dwell in your own being.

Is that those useful things you used to do?


But that is reflexive self- consciousness.


Supposing there isn’t consciousness that you run out of there is that……..

No, there must be an awareness there other wise you couldn’t say “I slept well”.

But there is sentience there.

There not an objective consciousness, but there is a pure subjective self-awareness, yes? And that is the highest conceivable state. From it you precipitated a world, from it you can precipitate any number of worlds and in it you can escape the world that you have projected, and then come back and make more.

Is that deep, dreamless sleep God trying to fix creation?

Mmm. NIRVANA, that is translated bliss but it doesn’t mean bliss, it means ‘No wind’ no wind, nothing is blowing. You are suspended in infinite self-being without an object to annoy you, you are having a rest. It is a lovely feeling.