THE FALL

The text of a talk given by Eugene Halliday at Parklands, ISHVAL Audio. 89

Track 1

Have you any special subject you would like to deal with tonight?

Yes.

What?

Would you say something about why, in fact, there was a fall…,

Mmm.

.. why we can’t have existence and why we can’t have the world without being blinded from the total comprehension of it at the same time.

What do they say, that is a very good question. Really it is tremendously interesting to see how we, human beings, got where we are, and we will investigate in using our mnemonic hand and you will grip the appropriate digit to remind you, preferably painfully, give yourself a pinch.

Let’s start with the baby. Now a baby we will call an open sensorium, that is, before its education starts. It is a feeling being before it actually begins to operate it feels its own being. Can we be clear about each step. If you don’t believe it will you please say so as we go along. Do you believe that babies feel their being before they are able to sit up, stand up, walk, kick Mummy on the shins and so on, they feel the condition of their being, is that correct?

Is that from conception basically?

From conception, yes? We won’t bother to go before conception yet, we will start with the known and go from the known to the unknown, babies actually turn over in the womb to make themselves comfortable. But before they turn over, they feel their discomfort, yes? So what the baby is feeling is its body. Now it hasn’t got a concept of body to begin with, it has a fact of being a body. Now the fall all has to do with a process whereby the consciousness of the baby falls into identification with the body as a separate thing. Imagine the baby in the womb and the mother leans over too far and reduces the space and increases pressure on the amniotic fluid inside, the baby can feel it. It feels it, and what it is feeling is the condition of its body. Now we put the body, as such on the little finger. The reason is that the body is the smallest of our fields of awareness. Your physical body is very small compared with your zone of awareness. You are all aware that there are other beings in the room and therefore your feeling awareness is bigger than your physical body, is it not? So we have a being centred on a body, it is feeling the condition of their body.

Now the body gets pushed about, cramped, expanded, maybe oxygenated if the mother bothers to breathe, and if she doesn’t it will become oxygen deficient, and if it is lacking oxygen it may become ill or even die. So the baby is feeling the condition of its body. Put on the little finger the word physical body and on your ring finger put feeling. The feeling is of the body and without the body there would be nothing to feel. Now the baby is simply feeling its body and it does this in a kind of dream condition in which it will echo the evolution of the race in its media changes. You have all seen a caterpillar, turn into a chrysalis, turn into a butterfly and you know that this process requires that somehow the caterpillar recapitulates the condition of having been a butterfly. It remembers butterfly-ness while it is a caterpillar. It eats and eats and eats towards butterfly-ness and then it encases itself, and this is most important, it puts a case round itself, it might call that an island which will isolate it from interferences, and inside this case, this chrysalis it is going to dream its way through the condition from original maggot, caterpillar, original appetite, through internal concentration, focus, self-positing, self-informing, forming within, it will dream it’s way through to butterfly, and when it has made butterfly it will burst out of its case. The word psyche is Greek and it means butterfly and it means soul.

Fundamental idea is that the human being has to be encased in a physical body and then dream its way through to a fully developed being, like a butterfly and when its development is complete it is said to be divinised, made divine, by its own internal process of recapitulation of a cosmic process which is everywhere identical. That is to say it is a dreaming process in which imagination, that is, appetite formulates itself, formulates appetite which is power, energy into a shape that it prefers.

Track 2

So the baby inside, like the caterpillar in the chrysalis, the baby in the womb is busy, very busy, and with today’s scanning techniques you can see the movements of the baby and the frownings and the twistings and the turnings and the movements within, just like can see twitchings inside the chrysalis when the caterpillar has wrapped itself up. At certain critical points it makes a special little jump, a quantum jump, so instead of being mere caterpillar it jumps a little bit towards butterfly, and it does it in stages, in quantum jumps in definite amounts of energy inserted, the energy inserted has a definite image with it.

Now there is the baby as a feeling centre, centred on the physical body, so we put the body on the little finger and then the feeling for the body on the ring finger. And what is the next stage? On your middle finger which you know, symbolically, bears Saturn, time, as its symbol, this baby is going to push itself through time by feeling for its body, and the time it is going to put itself through is the time of its ancestral indebtedness. If it is a white child it is going to dream white dreams; if it is a negro it will dream negro dreams, if it is Chinese it will dream Chinese dreams, it will dream through the culture from which it has derived. And this is on the middle finger and we will call this the time investigation finger. When you feel in your body then you begin to investigate why you feel in your body the way you feel. Now observe that when you have the body at first, that’s a simple awareness feeling of a zone of intention, a zone of in- tension means a zone of inner tension. It is power, it is energy, it is tensing itself in order to become from infinity, a finite being. So it presses into its centre and then it begins to investigate its heredity, it dreams through all its ancestral processes. And all the wonderful pleasures that the ancestors had, sexual delights, food delights, holidays and heaps of more delights, whatever they are, it dreams through them all, and it is always feeling, “This one I liked, this one I didn’t like”. And when it likes it, it gathers it together into its focus of awareness and when it dislikes it, it pushes it away backwards and tries to push it back and down out of the way. So it gradually stores up in what is called the basal plexus, in the sacral area of the spine, all the things it doesn’t want to know that it does know. This incidentally is the cause of the low backache or the repressed things that you don’t want to know about.

Now some of the things that it knows that it doesn’t like but it will have to keep an eye on them, because they could be painful stimuli, painful experiences, and it pushes these backwards but instead of pushing them down into the sacral plexus, it pushes them up the spine and by accumulation of the impulses pushed up, the brain grows. Out of the spinal chord by a simple swelling process on the end of that spinal cord, the brain develops like a balloon blowing up, and it pushes it up and forwards and records therefore in the forebrain, all the things it has to know about. Some things are worth chasing, some are not worth changing but are dangerous, you must know about them.

Track 3

Now you have got two kinds of repression, one back and down that you definitely don’t want to know about, they are painful, unpleasant, you would rather not look; and some others, you push them back but you know that you have to look at them, to be on guard in case they will kill you, and to look for in case you want them. So there are two movements starting from heart level or solar plexus level, backwards into the spine, down to repress; upwards to make you alert. All that you call your intelligence in the forebrain, all your intellectual attributes, are the products of unpleasant experiences recorded and pushed upwards to be on guard.

Now, on the middle finger, time finger, you say, “I will investigate all the forms of my ancestral pleasures and pains and I will make a record of these so that I can refer to it and thus avoid my life ad avoid the things I don’t want and appropriate the things I do want. Now you will observe that there is a tendency here, beginning with a vague awareness of body, by focussing on pleasures and condensing, repressing pains, the pains are contracted down, and you have two kinds of identification appearing. This is the root of The Fall. You now identify with the pleasures you like, some unconsciously, and with the unpleasures that you want to avoid and you know are possibly there, and then the others that are so terrible you don’t want to know about and you push them down the spine and you make them unconscious deliberately, so that you can live in relative comfort. So, on that time finger your identification with the ancestral records of pleasures and pains, becomes intensified. You are beginning a process of The Fall. The Fall is identification with that body as the centre in which you experience pleasures and pains, desirables, undesirables. And then, you move the next step, you move from the middle finger to your index finger. Your index finger is neurologically wired to the forebrain to make concepts, that is structures which will be eternally valid. The differences between the middle finger, simple records of time events of the ancestors, and the index finger, is the index finger takes all the percepts of the ancestors and builds out of percepts, concepts. So we will put temporal percepts on the middle finger and we can put permanent, eternal concepts on the index finger, and we now conceptualise our time experience under categories of thought. For instance, you see a ball and you say, “Oh that is a ball”, you see another all, bigger or smaller and you say, “they are both ball-shaped”, and you thus make a concept out of percepts. You see a Wire-haired Terrier, and an Alsatian and a Great Dane and a Saluki and you say, “Well they all bark so we will call them dogs”. You make a concepts ‘dog’ out of many different kinds of perceptual creatures which have a similar kind of behaviour. When pleased, the dog waves it’s tail; when the cat waves it’s tail it is annoyed., so you make a separate category for cat and for dog and you put your categoricals on your index finger and now you are really in danger of identification because on that index finger you are going to put all that you call moral, philosophical ideas, all the things you don’t want to know about in principle as opposed to in time, you don’t like to think of as cruelty to you, you don’t like to think about senseless cruelty to anybody, and you make a category, so your identification on your index finger level is very, very great, you have conceived yourself as human.

Track 4

Little finger, mineral; ring finger, vegetable; middle finger, animal; index finger, human. On the human, that is fourth level, you categorize all your experiences and you subsume them under various philosophical definitions, universal categories, and you build yourself a conceptual being and now you shift your identification from the physical body, progressively through the feeling, through temporal experience records into the concept, “I am a human being”. Now when you do that, the category humanity, under which we subsume our self becomes a dominant idea. We now identify with an idea so we can say, “Oh I got my finger trapped, it got gangrene, I had it amputated and it has gone, the finger has gone, but I, the human being, remain”. Gradually, you shift the identification from the physical body, stage by stage to the conceptual body that you call human. You now have concepts of what it means to be human, to be humane, to be hierarchically evaluative, hu-man means hierarchical power count, H – hierarchy, U – power, man – count; when you think, “Oh I have got a sense of value, I am superior to the animals, and to the vegetables and to the minerals, I am a human being”, you are in your greatest danger of identification. And you build out of this identification a moral view of the Universe in which you say, “This is good and this is bad and I know it”. So that after you have conceptualised yourself in that way, you progressively work internally, and build up a sense of I-ness and put that one onto the thumb. The individual consciousness that I am I myself and all I am is all this clever thing that knows the concepts, the percepts, the feelings and the body. Now we have got what we call conceptual egotism. We believe now, through the work we have done in the field of awareness, we believe that we are human beings with individual will, and we believe that this individual will is tremendously important, the most important thing there is.

There was a good German Film on the other night, called “The Refusal”, about a fellow who was a pacifist, an Austrian, and he believed against everybody, against the Church teaching, against everything, that he had understood Christ better than everybody else, and he would not fight and he was duly guillotined for his belief, but he believed that he was right. And he was so strong in his belief and so consistent in his belief, that he made all the officials above him uncomfortable because they were not so sure about their belief.

Now this is very important, the thumb represents your will to individual consciousness, and there is your greatest danger that you actually conceive yourself to be a separate, individual conscious being, with concepts, with percepts, with feelings, with body, but you mysteriously are this egoic self, and this egoic self is more important. Someone treads on your toe and you say, “You have hurt my toe, that’s possession, my toe, my toe, I am a being who owns a toe. I am prepared to sacrifice my toe for a beautiful woman, or a million pounds, or something, or to get my name in the paper I will do it”. But, this mysterious I, place it on your thumb, the thumb, the pus is then the pusher. The more energy you push into that concept, “I am an individual”, the more you confirm The Fall., because once you have established the concept, not the reality, the concept that you are a separate being with a will, with an intellect, with time sense, with feelings and body, once you have said these are my possessions, these four horizontals are my possessions and I am vertical, you then create internally, an image of a being that is totally independent of phenomena, that can make sacrifices of phenomena. So that if you conceive yourself to be a military genius, like Napoleon you can order millions of men to go to Moscow and get their toes bitten with cold weather and because of your strong sense of I-ness, and your moral concept which you have designed you conceive that you are thoroughly justified in whatever you do.

That is the process of The Fall.

Track 5

Now looking at it, we started with the gross material body and worked our way up. Now we can invert this and say we did the wrong way, we should have done it this way. First of all there is a will. This will was an individuated will, but it had not yet pushed itself through the resistances represented by intellect, time sense, pleasure-pain, physicality. It hasn’t done that, it was the will zone in eternity. The pure philosophical term for that is Spiritual Monad. It is a one, and spirit means it is self-determinant. It is a self-determinant unity.

Now where did that come from? Our five fingers spring out of the palm don’t they, and you remember, the palm symbolises the sixth level counting from below and the first level counting from above for the existential being. Our individual will is simply a zone in an infinity of conscious power. Conscious power, which prior to initiating a change, is not called a will, not called a, unit, will.

Imagine that the Universe is power, we know that this is a fact from nuclear weapons, matter is power. Now from the palm to the thumb is a simple movement. The base unit of your thumb is inside the palm, the two top joints are out of it. Your basis of will rests in the universal power. Now The Fall was the fall out of the universal awareness of power, which is sentient power. A bright girl had a sudden thought the other say. She suddenly thought, quite correctly, phonetically, that the word ‘sphere’ really meant ‘Sentient Power here’, that sphericalisation is Sentient Power grasping itself like that.

That was an intuition. It happens to be ontologically correct. And a sphere of being is an Infinite Power zoning itself, Z one, Z one, zone. Z means zeal. There is an infinity of possibilities in the Infinite Sentient Power and one of the possibilities is self-precipitation by grasping. Now the ‘cept’ in concept means grasp, capere, to grasp. So that within the field of awareness there is a possibility of seizing anywhere in space like this. Observe the ‘ace’ in the word space, ‘ace’ means spirit, Sentient Power, spirit, SP ACE. It grasps the zone and the moment it makes the zone it is called ‘self’. Self is the zone in Infinity, the Infinite is pure Sentient Power. Now The Fall consists in putting a spherical conceptual line round a given zone and saying I am in charge of that zone, and my zone, and that zone of my-ness I am going to work upon independently of all the other beings, and I am going to make sure I can do it by a process of self-precipitation. I am going to abstract from Infinite Sentient Power a sphere, I am going to call it a zone, a zeal one, zealous one; you know the Lord thy God is a jealous God. In some translations, quite correctly, it says the Lord thy God is a zealous God. The word jealous and zealous are the same. You become zealous when you are jealous or jealous if you are zealous. You are jealous or zealous for your own being.

Now as soon as you get the concept “I am separate from other beings”, that is The Fall, and it deprives you of an infinity of information beyond your definition. You now conceive yourself to be a being. The type of that in mythology and ancient religion is Lucifer. Now Luce-i-fer means ‘light bearer, Luc-i-fer, light bearer, light means consciousness. The Field of Sentient Power prior to Creation is pure consciousness, pure consciousness, and consciousness is power aware of itself. So the ‘light bearer’ means consciousness aware that if it centres itself and does that grasp itself it makes a sphere of its own being.

So the word ‘fist’, first and Faust in the drama, all mean the same thing. Faust means fist and fist means the first grasp and first means ‘prince’ and the fuehrer, the leader. All the same word disguised through various changes historically. So the first is a precipitate of the Eternal. The Eternal is not first, the first of the temporal series is first and Eternity is before that. The Eternity is Sentient Power in its Infinity before it grasps, and when it grasps itself, it posits itself and it makes ‘yeh’ of a(n) asp. Now that asp is the same serpent that stung Cleopatra to death. It is an aspiring, an Absolute Sentient Power, darkened by its own self coverage.

Track 6

My hand is open, the light is on it and then I go like that and darken it. I darken myself with counsel. It says in the Book of Job, “Who is this that darkens me with counsel?” Counsel means counting. You have said, “I will be an individual”, this is why the first listed crime in the Universe, is pride. “I am an individual being and I am a better being than you are. If you play the piano or violin or drums or whatever better than I do you don’t really, it is just that you practice more often. I too could do that, and better. Bloody lip, (spit). You see, if I practice the hours he does with my intelligence, I could do it better”. Now this is pure egotism, self-willed and self precipitated and this is The Fall.

Now it says about this William Blake says of him, Solomon done dunce, the wise idiot, he is so wise that he says there is no reason whatever that I should not appropriate to myself all wisdom, all power, and cheekily steal yours from you. You gather all your sayings and make them mine and then rule you. Now this is called the Luciferan error. He says, “I know I can do this because intelligence, symbolised by light is power and I have got it. I am the brightest of all the stars, I am the morning star, I am the first star and I am going to shine more and more and more and everybody will be totally obscured by my relatively superior brilliance. Then it comes in the saying, “From excess of light, darkness. When you think you know it all, you devalue the other spiritual monads which are also ambitious individuals and you hope that they haven’t got the cleverness you have got and you rehearse telling yourself funny stories about your own brilliance, and finally, as Orson Wells says, and he knows because he used to be a cards-manipulating fortune teller, you finally begin to believe you are clever, so you finish up advertising Sandeman’s Port or something. Your self-definition traps you progressively. Think of the man that made the film Citizen Kane daily in an ad on TV for the wine. That it should come down from that to that, only because of the super clever view he was and then believed he was. When a man believes he is as clever as he says he is, Orson Wells called it a blind fear, now he sees and believes that what he sees, is true, he is super. Once he made a film, King of Spades, and in it he had a low camera angle for him, to look big and a higher camera angle for everybody else to look small. And, of course the critics noticed immediately and he got hammered for making that film. He always tries. I remember seeing him playing Othello with a four inch lift on his shoes, he wasn’t satisfied to be big enough, he had to be bigger than big enough. Now, whenever you make yourself very super tall, it means you have got to stoop to pick the lady up. Now if you are already short enough in the body you do not need to stoop. Some very, very strong men are quite small, a lot of very strong men are five feet and they can pick a lady up without bending down and rush off with terrible power, they haven’t bothered to become very, very tall and superior. Now it is this self-conceptualisation that is the meaning of The Fall.

Now how can The Fall be reversed?

For thousands and thousands of years we have inherited an educational system that has stressed superiority by education and wealth, superiority of one being over another. So we have a man who goes to settle a coal dispute and leans on a fence that breaks and he falls on his back. Macgregor was a bit shocked, yes? It doesn’t matter how big you conceive yourself to be, there is always a fact if you are centred on a physical body, some one can throw a bomb at it. So the danger of The Fall is that you forget imposing this concept, you finite yourself, your sentience and your power, and the more you conceive yourself as champion in the physical world as a finite level of some talent, the more tied down you are by your own definition.

Track 07

Now I was asked if I would talk about a related problem, that is this one to do with the precipitation of conditions in the physical body of health or disease.

Now if somebody hits you very hard with a sledge hammer on the skull, the probability of fracture is very great. If somebody beats you on certain spinal levels they can paralyse you a blow at a certain level makes legs useless. Those things are true, but there is another thing. When you come to look at your education, you are taught to believe in cause and effect as external. Cause and effect are taught to you in science to be outside you. You know physical science teaches you that you do not exist, you are a hypothetical observer. You can’t get the scientist on the laboratory table conducting the scientific experiment. What you do is you get a physical body, put that on the table, cut that up and you keep out of the observation what you call your subjectivity. Subjectivity there means that you react to that body on the table when you are cutting it, by identification you don’t like gouging the eye out of a rabbit to see what the rabbit is like when it has only got one eye, so you suppress your emotional reaction. All vivisection requires you to withdraw emotively from the situation, you become an abstract being.

Now you are taught that in order to be scientific and accurate, you must not be emotional, you must withdraw your emotions from the situation. And, if you are a boy, a child and you fall over and you cry, somebody will say, “Little boys don’t cry”. Now that is an inheritance from the time of the great hey day of the militarists of the Iranian persuasion who made marvellous armies by teaching men to suppress feelings so they could kill people quite easily without being disturbed. Now when you kill your feeling you kill your sensitivity, and when you become intellectualised so that you can actually think clearly, geometrically, mathematically you have destroyed your feeling sensitivity, you have become like a computer programme. Now if you can train some men in the army, or like the recent so-called exposure of the Greek torture techniques, you can train people not to feel, not to emote, not to care, if in order to get information out of a person, they have to gouge out his eyes, electrocute his genital organs and so on, and you can do this, by practice, with withdrawal, suppression of your emotion, but when you do it you are turning yourself into an intellective machine and you are brought up to believe that the intellect is right, when its logic is accurate, the intellect is right and it is permissible to override your feelings. And you are taught to fear certain things like fearing the government or the state and you are taught to worship the said state, you are taught a host of things by suppressing your true, real feelings. You don’t think when you see a famous politician telling funny stories, “Can’t be true”, and if you are of that party, you don’t feel that person is lying. You know they are, but you don’t feel it. It is possible to listen to a person like Enoch Powell on the colour problem and believe that he is telling the truth although you know very well he is not telling the truth. You can dissociate feeling from intellection and you can accept the definitions of the intellect abut what is right, fighting for Fatherland or Mutterland or whatever it is. You fight because you are told to and you have been conditioned intellectually to do what you are told because doing what you are told is right and official.

Now we come to a field like the area of physical health, there has been for several thousand years, and I go back to the time of the Ancient Greeks when a man said there, “The doctors bury their mistakes”, that was a joke of the day. Imagine, two thousand five hundred years ago, that was a current joke. Now it has been current for a long time, to believe that physical conditions of health and disease are a product of external forces. Now since the time of the discovery of bacteria, the poor little bacteria get the blame, “There is bug going about”. Do you know that? There is a bug going about. And the average G.P. will actually say to somebody who comes in with this that or the other, “This damn patient is a nuisance I’ve already seen”. I know one who has got five thousand on his books to see, how would you like to deal with five thousand people who keep coming in, “I’ve got this”, “I’ve got that”, “I’ve got the other”. So you say, “There is a bug going about,” and you give them an anti-bug tablet. It is called secretly, placebo, because it is totally inert and you are taught that you are entirely passive to the activity of bugs. It is total buggery throughout. You are taught to believe this.

Now, as you believe, so you tend to activate. Believing is a feeling, and when you feel that is so you then think in those terms, so you actually think because you feel, that you have been told with authority, this is so, and there is a bug going about and we have to defend you against the bug, instead of saying actually, “Are you fighting with your girlfriend? Are you fighting with your husband or your wife, or are you in trouble at business, is somebody cheating you, and are you annoyed?” instead of saying all these things, which an old fashioned doctor used to say, I remember an Irish doctor from Dublin, called Rafferty and he used to say to all his patients, “And what colour would you like you liquorice water in this week, and have you stopped beating your wife?” Now he had a very large practice and they would say the colour they wanted and go out, what they really went for was advice, “Don’t fight, don’t be mean, don’t be greedy, don’t be spiteful, don’t be envious”. He was very good at that and horribly healthy. I don’t know what happened to him, I think he went away to Australia to enlighten them there. Because he suddenly vanished

Track 8

Now, this is tremendously important. We have inside us, various levels of belief. We have a belief in a physical body, don’t we? In Europe do you believe we have got a physical body?

Yes.

You know very well you haven’t. What does got mean?

Have hold of.

Have hold of, have you?

No.

No, you see. Western philosophy has taught the separativity of the observing consciousness from the observed organism, and then progressively, since the Greek atomists, Lucippus and Democritus, right up into the nineteenth century, has taught that the physical atom is real entity which you can do nothing about and it is on that little entity the bug goes for a ride and you have to believe it. Now physically you believe you are a body, but scientifically you know for a fact that your body is not an entity, it is a process of energy. Now a couple of thousand years ago and more, two and a half thousand, Buddha says there is no egoic self, there is only a process, an energy process, there is no entity called the self, there is a process, because when he looked inside himself, he sat with his body under a tree, he said I will find out, and he looked inside the body and he found emotions, and he looked inside the emotions and he found thought, and he looked inside the thought and he found concepts, and he looked inside the concepts and he found a will to conceptualise, and he looked inside that and he found consciousness, that was all. So he said here is no self, anatta, there is no self, there is process.

Now, we are a throughput system, are we not? You put food in at one end and as long as it escapes at the other end, you are a tube through which energies are continuously going, day and night. And mysteriously you have been taught to believe you are an individual, egoic, self determined, structure although, in fact, there is nothing self-determined about it. It is all reactive to pleasure-pain, thought processes, concepts, impulses of will in a field of consciousness. Now that is mysterious, that is only one level, right?

Let us take emotion. Do we know what it is? Do we like it? No generally not. Our emotions are such that if we don’t watch them and tighten up on them they will rush away and grab something charming or bash something they don’t like. The emotions are very, very dangerous, they are real forces and we tend to identify with them, an emotion can make you shake, an emotion can precipitate adrenalin and make you run about. Emotional forces are some of the most powerful forces in reality and the control of emotional forces is the key to all that is called magical operations, poltergeists, clairvoyance, operation-at-a-distance, it all depends on the emotional field. And they are quite different from your so-called physicality of the body aren’t they? I mean the body, I see your body on a chair; your emotions are not so visible. I have to examine you very carefully to see is I can see sign of emotion, and if you are civilised you will probably try to control it, so that you don’t look as if you are physically disbelieving everybody, you don’t look as if you are about to take advantage of everybody, that is your deep secret. That is another level. These are called planes or levels of being. The gross physical and then the emotive, pleasure-pain; next, the mentational.

Track 9

Now the mentational plane, that level of being, contains all the thoughts of your total ancestry. How would you like to think about a very, very clever, three-dimensional record, like a laser holograph and it has recorded in it everything that has ever happened to the totality of your ancestry. And that is a genuine plane of being functionally, vibrationally different from your emotion and from your physicality? But you have another one above that called the eidetic field. The eidetic field is the same thing as the numenal world of Plato, it is a world in which forms are mutually interpenetrating. Now in time they are not. One person sits of a chair and the person next is apparently separate, now that’s in time, but actually the formal energies of the one and of the other totally commingle at a higher frequency. So you think you are alone, but the person on either side of you and behind you and in front, they are sitting in the place with you and in order to avoid the interference with their thoughts and their feelings and their physicality, you tighten up. I don’t want to interfere, and there is Ghreta, and I know that Ghreta is here. Oh, tut, tut, tut, I must defend myself, and Ghreta must defend herself against me I might be sitting in Ghreta’s place deliberately and going he, he, he. And we don’t like it, so we say, “I don’t believe it”. First I must not believe it, if I am going to rescue myself from psychic interference, I must not believe in its possibility. When I get my conceptual difference, well Ghreta’s a girl, and I am a boy, I hope, unlike Nureyev and Valentino, I can separate myself with a concept, I’ve got trousers, she’s got skirts I know that sometimes it happens otherwise but I try to identify and girls shouldn’t wear trousers except on horseback and better if they ride side saddle in Spain and display those skirts. So I know where I stand, yes? Now the more concepts I can fabricate me from you, foolishly the safer I think I am, but in fact I am in greater danger because I have made myself ignorant of reality.

Now my will, I try to believe that my will is confined to this body and if my hand moves because I will it and not because Ghreta willed it. And there’s my hand and it goes, oh who did that I didn’t do that, Peter Lelonek did it. He just focussed on my hand and it went like that. How terrible! Can you imagine it? I can’t afford to believe that anybody moves my body except myself. I’ve again increased my identification with finitude, I’m covering myself for security’s sake.

I remember a matron brought me a baby one and a half hours old, on one occasion and said, “I believe that you claim that you can influence babies by feeling. Is that true?” she said. And I said, “Yes”. “She said, “Well do something with this one”. And the baby was like this, (Sleeping) So I said, “Open your eyes” and the baby’s eyes opened, I said, “Shut them”, it shut them, I said, “Open”, it opened, “Shut”. And she suddenly said, “That’s the last opportunity you get to be near this baby”, and she rushed out.

Now in fact, a new born baby has the power to wake its mother up from sleep. There is a bio-field relation. And today luckily, with the aid of oscilloscopes and electrical devices, you can wire a baby up in one room and a mother in another room with no electrical connections between them and wires, and we let the mother go to sleep and the mother go to sleep and we have got we can watch the two screens from a third room, and when the mother dreams her eyes flicker, the rem sign and at that moment the baby’s eyes flicker. Oh, they are not so disconnected as we hoped.

Track 10

Now the more we think of this, the more terrified we get because the observer might have deep thought, like somebody is going to come and occupy my cottage for the summer and the idea might come into my mind, it’s actually come into my mind. I am lucky I am too busy, otherwise I will accept the offer. Bu the suggestion is made and it is not only made externally, verbally, audibly, it is made secretly, emotively. And the emotive sphere is infinitely extended and usually it penetrates all other levels. Now I can’t afford to believe that there is a relation key at all because how do I know that my favourite thought is my favourite thought and not your favourite thought. Come let us fly away to Paris for the weekend, whose thought was that? Mine or yours, I don’t know. I’ll have to sit down very carefully and I might have to count the wills, say, “No we will go to Edinburgh for the festival”, and there is a battle going on all the time at the will level and during sleep, so-called, everybody is coming in like mad and trying, valiantly to influence everybody to do everything their way. Now that is a dynamic fact.

So we are trained to believe in separativity and we know factually that separativity is a myth. Our oscilloscopes, our electrically sensitive machines today demonstrate that we are not separate, cannot be separate but we hope that somehow, mysteriously we are sufficiently separate to lead our own lives without interference.

Now when we come… yes?

Do we have to have a fall though actually…

We’ve had it.

Well quite, so it was true.

No, so it is,

Could we not actually live?

Without it?

Without the blindness?

Well you can’t fall without becoming blind, to fall is to that, the grasp and that is to overshadow yourself and to define yourself with finites.

Does it have to be that way?

It is that way,

No but does it have to be that way?

Now when a fellow said that to Buddha he said, “That question is not enlightening”.

What would it be that would force you become a fallen being? When you say, “Did it have to be”? your are saying, “Is there a force that condemns me to fall? For if so it is not a fall, it is a push”. What has happened there is the ego is trying to extricate itself from guilt. It knows it is in a mess and it hopes it is not its own fault, but it is. There is a very nice little story from the thirties by Helen Beauplas in which she wrote called The Love of the Foolish Angel, it is a very nice little book and if it still exists in the library, which I suppose it does, ladies would love to read it because this love of the foolish angel is a love story and finishes up very nicely. In heaven before the Luciferan revolt there were a lot of angels and they see Lucifer as the brightest of the lot. And one of these angels called named Tamiel is looking, “Oh what a glorious thing is Lord Lucifer”, and another angel comes along and sees his admiring look and says, “Would you like to wear a feather for Prince Lucifer?” And he says, “Yes”, so he sticks it in his hair. And then the fight begins and all the naughties are kicked out like and Michael smites, “Who is like unto God”? he knocks everybody down. Tamiel finds himself on Earth. How did he get there? Well he had got a feather in his hat that said, “Admirer of Lucifer”. Did he know what it was? He was innocent isn’t he? Now would blame Tamiel for accepting his feather? Remember, he had seen Lucifer was very bright and he admires him. Is he innocent?

No.

No, so in merely accepting the feather he has condemned himself to be treated like a rebellious angel. He is sitting there and a demon comes on and says, “Ha, ha, ha, you know you will have a job to do don’t you, you have got to seduce an er…” Oh no, no, no, not him, he has got to arrange for the seduction of a very beautiful girl by the Lord Mayor, he is rather an obedient fellow. “This is your job”. So he says, “How horrible”. And after a lot of adventures, he says to him, “You know, why don’t you do the job yourself?” Now is he innocent? He is supposed to have the girl seduced by courting the Lord Mayor, and then he is told there is a way out you know, as long as she is seduced, it’s alright you do the job. Now is he innocent? Now it was written by a very intelligent woman, she took about five or six years to do the research into the intelligence to get the story right.

Track 11

You see, nobody, it says it very clearly in the Bible, all have fallen short of the glory of God. Nobody is sinless, how do we know that? Because we are finite, we are in a body, we must have identified, at some point.

Do we identify before conception?

You are identified the moment you are in a position where you can occupy a body.

Where you can say I?

Where you can say I

We are not talking about the gross body are we?

Oh no, no, no, no, the gross body is a very, very low level thing.

So you are talking about The Fall that occurred in Heaven?

That’s right, to fall out of Heaven, out of eternity into time.

So that us when the sphere is created?

Yes.

And the separation takes place.

No, when the identification takes place. The spheres, the spheres are eternal, mutually interpenetrating spheres, they are not separate.

There is no fall in that stage is there?

Not until you identify.

And then you identify with what you believe your particular zone to be?

Aha.

And then the Fall commences?

From the moment of identification.

And that ends up with a fall into conceptualisation at a lower level?

Not Fall, it drives itself in.

Once you have….

When your Mother and Father are having sexual relations.

Yes, you’ve got your eye open for the opportunity

You have got your eye open for what?

For the opportunity.

You are pushing yourself in to that activity.

That’s right, because you want it.

Because you want it, but what is it you want?

Well….

Whatever it is that is dissatisfied at the time..

Or the glory that you think you see.

Or the glory?

Yes, it might be the glory. My Mother was a soprano, my Father was a musician, you see, when they got together I saw an opportunity. I seized it. I can’t blame them.

So you saw it?

Yes.

And you remembered it?

Oh yes I bothered to remember it.

Well I don’t remember…

Have you not been interested to remember it? The whole of yoga is said it is a back-step to remember.

So you are saying the only difference is my lack of interest

That’s right. You are so busy with the affairs of this world, like the rich young man in the New Testament. You’ve got too much on to remember about that. Tomorrow you will remember, but today you are too busy, yes?

What is he state of remembering in relationship to be dreaming?

In dreaming?

Dreaming.

Now in a dream ordinarily you are not in charge of your remembering

I mentioned it the form it is illustrated in the child.

When the child is dreaming, well he is there deliberately following a trail through a genetic line. He is deliberately dreaming there, he is not…

What is the state of remembering?

The state of remembering is the straight replay of an ancestral record. As a spiritual monad you see all kinds of possibilities. When, like all children complain at some point to parents and say, “I didn’t ask to be born”. My Father said to his naughty children, “What do you think the gleam was in my eye”? They were the gleams, those children, they were the gleam, they were the one that was going to condense and say, “Me I am here”. That word gleam implies condensation of me, substantialisation of me, I can become, should I see an opportunity, I can become a famous being, Jack the Ripper, or an Alexander the Great. You know how people do it today, they read something in the newspaper, it creates a stir and then they go out and do it again.

When the Yorkshire Ripper was caught, a man rang me up and said, “Can I come and see you, very important, I am in a very dangerous state”. And he came, Sunday morning and said, “I am the new Jack the Ripper”, and he was absolutely serious. And I said, “What about all the other Jack the Rippers”? And he said “No, I am the one”, I said, ”I assure you, you are not, I am as well”, I said “The only thing that stops me going to jail for cleaning up the world by murdering ladies, I don’t like jail”. And he was very annoyed, and he said “Did you know that people feel like this”? and I said, “Yes, they also want their names in the headlines”, and he went, phut, and do you know he never mentioned Jack the Ripper since.

No, we only become rippers or whatever to get our names in the paper, or to get interviews on the T.V. That’s even nicer. This the Luciferan determination to be brighter than everybody else.

And this is why it is said, the works of yogis are neither black not white, they don’t accept this good-evil definition, they supplant it with efficient-inefficient. You don’t have moral categories in yoga, you have efficiencies, inefficiencies you are freed from self imagery.

Track 12

Now when you come down from your primordial sphere which is in infinity interpenetrated with every other sphere, like your heat aura is interpenetrating the heat aura of Barbara and the lady next to you, now, it is even extended beyond Peter Lelonek, it is a little bit warmer than it would be if he weren’t there, yes? That is even at the mechanical level of heat, body vibration, and bio-magnetically you are even deeper involved. Emotively deeper, mentationally, conceptually and volitionally deeper still, we are involved with each other, whether we like it or not.

Is it best then benefit to not only accept that but work towards positively letting that be?

That’s the whole art, if you can let being be without egotistically pushing, it your efficiency goes up immediately. Because when you stop identifying with yourself as a finite being, you become interested in everything everybody knows, not just what you think you want to know, but everything.

But then how do you deal with so-called efficiency?

Well the more you know of all the people you know, you know a lot of people, if you had all the information that they have got available in your mind at the touch of a mental button, wouldn’t you be clever? Wouldn’t you be cleverer than you are? Supposing you knew everything that Barbara knows and everything that everybody in this room knows, wouldn’t you be better equipped to do your job more efficiently?

Yes.

Yes? I know a woman, she is called “Personal Consultant” in Manchester. She is bejewelled on every finger, around her neck hangs slings of diamonds, Do you know why? Because she gives advice, and when she gives advice she asks them what they are and they tell her. She is absolutely saturated with information from her clients. There is nobody she doesn’t know, a bit like Lord Goodman. You know, yes? So she had all that information. You would be clever wouldn’t you? Where would your efficiency be? Way up at the top.

I don’t I like using the word “clever”.

‘Cos you don’t like the idea of using a lever. You know ‘clever‘ is from use of lever, and you don’t like being on the receiving end of somebody else with a lever, and the basic lever you don’t like is emotional pressure.

No.

Mm? Do you like emotional pressure?

No.

No, that’s the key to lever. Now you know lever and levi means left, you know the sign of ‘levi’ and left-handedness. Yes? And you don’t like to be on the receiving end of emotive things. You are just about to be non-emotional, clear-minded, directive, successful, and there is a female eye in front of you, “Kia loves Dan’s son”, and you feel yourself wobble. Do you know why? ‘cos your Mummy used to cry once upon a time to force you into behaviour.

I remember that, yes.

I’ll bet you do (laughter) That’s why you don’t like lever.

Pardon.

That’s why you don’t like lever, ‘cos you know that you are manipulable where your emotions are not under your control.

Now supposing we revert to this medical question…

Can I just ask something?

Yes.

You are never going to cure the problem by endeavouring to isolate yourself from the emotional remit?

No, you have got to go into the emotion and look at it.

I accept that.

You must enter

There is a thing called ‘Dragon’s Cave’ you know, in fairy stories and mythology, do you know what it means, Dragons Cave? The womb, yes? When you are sitting in the womb and your mother has an emotional tiz. How do feel?

Dreadful

Dreadful, you can’t get away from that, so you actually have to go inside the womb again, re-enter, in creative imagination, and you have to sit inside there and listen to mummy. Do you know you can actually replay mother’s records?

So what was comfortable then feels revolting now?

Now, because just now you are a big boy, you see the concept (Laughs.) the concept “I am a big boy now”.

No I don’t mean seriously the resultant is to have the idea, I mean the actual sensation.

That’s what I am talking about.

Logic of finding the actual…

Ooooh, all those things yes? The reality is that you like to think you are a grown up boy now, you are not in the womb, you are free from that, free from emotive influence, but in fact, you are still conditioned by it.

Yes I know.

You can still remember it. Do you know why? Because you want to be acceptable to the owner of the womb, because you have forgotten one thing, you made your own placenta, your mother didn’t. You are a little parasitic so and so sitting there, gathering away at her expense, yes? Now the whole of yoga is nothing but, yoga means union, and it means to re-enter union with the original pre-fall self which you were before you conceptualised yourself as a finite individual.

Before you went into the womb?

The pre-condition of going into the womb. I have got a horrible personal interest in investigating going through wombs, I like re-incarnating. So as soon as I have left this body I’ll be in another one, quick I’ll select one with some peculiar qualities that will be very, very interesting. It will be murderous, talented, one thing it won’t be, murderous and talented, yes, and cunning, to cover up its murderousness, yes? One thing it won’t be and that is dull.

You will find it fun.

It is very, dangerous yes, but intere….

Get lost in the process.

No, no, no, you don’t get lost in the process, you remember that you came here for experience, you didn’t come here to enjoy yourself, you came here to experience what it is like.

Track 13

So we are imposed on by state education, by philosophies, by History, by ancestors and we tend to believe and we are taught to believe that we have no control over our own organism and that our health, quote, quote, is in the hands of some fellows who know which kind of bug it is that is going about. So we lose our initiative, we forget that we are a zone of consciousness who have a will that we can design a concept and extend it linearly in time, a model emotively our bodies. So we can heal ourselves, or resuscitate ourselves, entirely by a process of self- incarnation self embodiment by deliberate conscious act of will.

And each time you do it, presumably you get, do you, nearer being consciously aware of it…

Yes.

…so progressively through evolution.

Yes, yes. When you said that you stroked your nose downwards like that,…..

Yes.

Do you ever watch famous people on T.V. fiddling about with their noses?

Yes.

Have you noticed them?

Yes.

When they become embarrassed they touch the nose. The reason for that is that the nose is the oldest of our sexual discriminating organs.

Is what?

The oldest of our sexual discriminating organs, you hunt on the nose, you know, for sexual partners in the animal world and in the human world, and it is nervously wired, like acupuncture meridians, that thing is wired to your genital organ. So that when you feel a little threatened by an idea, you go like this, you see and if you felt you were being flattened by somebody you go like this and lift it up. And if you think you are being too conceited in public you pull it down, like that. And, if you on the side issue

You thoroughly thought about something there that nobody knows about except you and she, you scratch it on the side like that, and there is a whole map of nosery. Do you know that lovely string of beads called The Nosary? You can actually tell by the structure of the nose, it is in three parts. That part belongs to the eyes, this part here where the bone finishes belongs to the lungs and this part here belongs to your belly. Just like your eyes have got top lids, bottom lids, and space between; and your face, the yes belong to the intellect, the nose to the chest, the mouth to the belly. Everything about us is three-fold in that way, so that you are constantly giving yourself away. What’s the French for this organ?

The French?

Yes, are there any frogs in the house? What is it? It is a word that means ‘counter’ it means a counter piece. Spell it MEN T ON. Do you know what that means? Counting-crucified-serpent. That menton there, unconsciously goes, thirty seven, thirty six, thirty, thirty, thirty. That is why it is called that.

Now, your whole face and your being is a map. If you were in the Pacific Islands there is a whole vocabulary of eye positions.

Donald retired, the other lunchtime he was saying to a young man that in order to make the Japanese business man to feel flattered you go, when he says something you go (Noise like drinking soup) suck the air between your teeth as if totally astonished with his brilliance and it is part of Japanese etiquette and you must do it. Would you really do that, eh? There is a host of languages known all over the world and we are giving ourselves away perpetually by the way we sit, the way we lounge and so on. Do you know that new babies often lie with their legs apart and their hands apart and go to sleep. Do you know that it is very hard for an adult to do that? Because the adult is closed, he is defending himself.

Everything we do is a think-dyno-kinetic structure, three things, power, motion, form,. dyno-kinetic structure. Everything we do, everything we are is a give-away to a sharp observer. Now how do you feel if you think it is true, that everything about it is a give-away? You don’t know where to put your bits and pieces do you?

There was a great big muscle man came on a pebble mill thing and I was having a sweet drink of something or other over this, some vegetable drink, I don’t know, and there is a great big muscle man, seventeen and a half stone there, showing his muscles and the other guest was a girl, and when this muscle man sat down, she went (laughter) he had forgotten all his muscles she wanted to see what he’d got to make the muscles worth it, and she couldn’t stop doing that., because the more she looked the less she saw and yet, ten whites of eggs and after three hours he had had a chicken and something else and after three hours, ten whites of eggs again and that’s why he was so big. And he was asked, “How did you get like this. Did anybody help you?” and he said, “Yeah, Mum”, and the girl went, (laughter)he was a big baby.

Now it is concept isn’t it? and do you know how he got like that, he had a concept. When he was little, some other little boy pushed sand into his face. He thought “I will not tolerate this, I will eat ten eggs

and then ten eggs and then ten eggs until he dare not do this with the sand. That is self-conceptual isn’t it?

We have first of all a field of awareness, then we have a will to separate ourselves from the interpenetration of all the other beings, and then we designed a concept, “I am a Napoleon, I am a Beethoven, I’m a something. There is one thing I am not and that’s a nothing

Now there are a lot of people that believe in re-incarnation and they have all been, queens and kings and chief ministers and brave heroes, I never found one that had been a reincarnation of a chamber maid in the Midlands.

Now this is the enemy, self-conceptualising. This is The Fall, and think what you have got to do, now remember this, all nature is impulsive, yes? Everything you do is with an energy input, so energy is quantised, so it takes a definite number of energy quanta to form a habit. Now supposing you form a habit, carelessly over twenty of years, carelessly, luckily, how long will it take to put the same number of energy impulses in to balance it, but not carelessly but deliberately?

Not very long.

Not very long, see.

Now that is called Vajrayana, “thunderbolt yoga”. You say I was sloppy, I fell into identification, think of the Church and Samuel Butler saying, “I can only forgive the Church its degeneration when I remember with what infinitively small steps it fell, each step so little it was hardly noticed, but it all was careless, until finally the Church was empty. It could have been kept full by telling the truth deliberately”, Because, the truth us religion is true real religion is truth and it is useful spiritual, psychologically and physically but it got forgotten bit by bit. Now supposing you say, “How about the sudden school of Japanese Zen, I’m going to enlighten myself now, no waiting”.

There used to be a barber’s in Manchester, nearly opposite the Odeon and it said, “Morris, ten barbers, no waiting”. Now that was vajra stuff, thunderbolt. You could guarantee that if you went in there for a haircut, a lot of people had gone in there because there was no waiting. Useful? (Laughter) And the only person with a smile was Morris! Morris is a personal friend of mine.

Now imagine this situation, you can do it now, immediately without waiting but to do it you have to gather as much concentration of energy quanta as you dissipated over the years since you were conceived. Now luckily in those days you were very careless weren’t you, but now you are not are you?

Not quite as at first

Not quite.

Now you gather yourself together now and say this, “All laws, all orders, all states, nations, all structures whatever are ego-defences. Can you see it? because it says all states, establishments, institutions, organisations, they are ego- defences, yes? Now see them all categories, yes? All structures are ego defences. Right, what is the opposite to order, chaos. I now commit myself to chaos, anything can happen. With tremendous courage I commit myself to chaos”.

Can you do it?