Eugene Halliday

Consciousness and Memory

Apologies to the reader, I was unable to accurately hear some words, names etc. So I have done my best and highlighted them for you to consider. Additionally Eugene was drawing pictures and describing concepts so some parts I have struggled with the words.

A passage here from Nicolas Podayafor comment: ďmemory and oblivion alternate in human life I forget many things for a time, many things disappear from my consciousness and are yet preserved at a deeper level , oblivion has always been a source of profound disquietto me, I have sometimes forgotten not only significant events but even people who have played a great part in my life. I have always regarded this as a failing and a kind of a betrayal there is a life giving power in memory. Memory seeks to conquer death. Ē†† Nice passage, is this memory, the one that conquers death what we mean by consciousness?

Letís have a look at this in terms of our primary geometry of motion, we have defined memory before as substantial emotions , differentiating and being affirmed,. The substance itself and the circumscribing limit, the differentiation of the formal limit and the affirmation of those forms, all this constitutes memory. Remembering is making again a member of a whole; memory in itself is the affirmation of the differentiations of the zone of substance. Now consciousness is that in which memory elements are presented that in which any element whatever of which we are aware is presented.

Podaya here is saying that he feels uncomfortable about the fact that sometimes memory fails and then feels he has betrayed his relationship people who had helped him, he is betraying himself if he lapses from memory, that is if elements of his experience disappear from him they are out of his control and if he has in the past he has valued these things so they are worth remembering then they lapse without his deliberately suppressing them then he feels he has betrayed something or someone, either himself or somebody else.

Letís take the O from memory for the moment, thatís a limiting factor letís put the substance in and the opposition to this substance , the two Mís vibrating within and the Rwhich is the rippling formsrunning through every point of interrelation forces. Where 2 forces cross we always get interference and the interference always generates a vortical spin or circumscribes so every time we get a rotation of force at that point and these rotations are the elements of memory. When this memory differentiates adequately the R function when it differentiates adequately, then are presented in the field of consciousness in the being all the things it has ever known and when these things are presented then that being can act adequately, it can act efficiently within an environment that bears relations to the past environment it has been in.

Now what actually happens in the case of a lapse of memory? We know this that every being retains in itself like the irritable substance we call protoplasm the after motions of the original stimulus. This being we will pretend for a moment that this being can exist without any internal motion, this is not true. It is an abstraction to over simplify the situation so that we can consider it. We will pretend there is a being that is perfectly empty this is the famous tabula rasa , the blanktablet of the scholastics, it never existed ,it is inconceivable that it should exist nevertheless for the sake of this discussion that it can exist. We are pretending that it can there is a perfectly blank piece of protoplasm then we apply a the energy stimulus this causes a ripple as we have said before the ripple in a simple piece of protoplasm goes right through the whole of the protoplasm and is deflected back to the source of the stimulus and carries on reverberating within that protoplasm and that kind of uninterrupted total response we call protopathic response, the first feeling response.

Total response, now that formal vibration viewed as something upon which we can call is then the memory of this being. Now how does this happen that the memory how can it lapse because the memory is the formal vibrations of the substance and those vibrations can never cease within that being, so what is the meaning of that loss of memory? As the vibrations are always there what does it mean to say that we can forget something? It means quite simply that somehow we are able to set up the zones of influence, surround them with a wall of force in such a way that we can stop the motions of the substance entering into that zone. Somehow we might be able to clear a zone relatively of the motion of the whole protoplasm. Now in fact we can never eliminate it completely because the whole protoplasm is a whole protoplasm and the stimulation of any part is the stimulation of all so it mean to say that when there is a lapse of memory the lapse is only relative.

There is a deliberate will to stop certain characteristic vibrations from continuing they cannot be eliminated but by deliberate counter contractions of the protoplasm they can be reduced. Imagine for the moment here is a wave in the protoplasm and the protoplasm is able to move in response to the stimulus. Letís pretend this is the protoplasm itself a section thro it and that is a wave and that wave is memory. Now the protoplasm in its adjustment to a stimulus has created that wave, supposing it doesnít like that wave well simply it expands itself in one place and contracts itself in another it forces the top of the wave down and the bottom of the wave up. This means that it has the power to reduce the amplitude of the wave inside itself. Now if at the same time it deliberately steps up some other kind of motion so that relatively there is a very great intensity of the motion B and the very low intensity of the motion A then the being will be more aware of B than of A, now A can never cease but it can be suppressed, the amplitude of the wave can be cut down but it cannot be eliminated completely. Now why does protoplasm do this sort of stuff why does it suppress elements of its experience the answer is of course this mysterious word pain.

Pain is the place of refusal the A means refusal the negation of the energy. A very painful stimulus had come into this being and has started a very powerful ripple and the being doesnít like this ripple so it brings pressure to bear on it, to force it down as low as it possibly can get it, it will always be there in some degree but it is going to force it down and when it is reduced it to the lowest level possible it is forced to the lowest level possible we then say it has gone into the unconscious. Now in psychological parlance it tends to talk about t the unconscious as if it were a place it is not a place except in this sense there is a wave on amplitude occupies more space than a wave of small amplitude, a very big wave is covering more space in its oscillations than a small wave and it is only in that sense that the unconscious occupies a place. The unconscious is equally distributed throughout the whole of your protoplasm so the wave really goes all the way through and back again to the point and spreads out through the whole protoplasm but to clarify this we can do another diagram.

Remember that the action created by a force coming in cannot go to the dead centre and that in the centre there is a wall of energy that energy is rotating so fast that no external stimulus can get into it when an external stimulus is comes of a painful order the energy that is coming in is too great to be assimilated , because it is too great to be assimilated therefore it is called pain it is refused and the proto tries to stop it spreading and it just masses it with its own energy from inside to isolate that zone of pain. Now if it presses very hard at the right frequency itcan cause that pain to lapse from consciousness, now although it has lapsed from consciousness it is still there, this wall of energy stops it spreading but the wall itselfis vibrating therefore going through the tissue there is a ghost this pain, this shadow pain as it is called ,this shadow pain, this ghost of a pain is simply a product of the vibration of the wall of energy surrounding the zone of pain andwe call this zone an engram. An engram is simply a formal pattern emotionally charged with the memory of pain and we donít want to know about it

Now suppose a man is subject to many such pains supposing one very, very strong pain hits on this centre fiery band and canít penetrate thro it but it does manage to get that far before the energies of the protoplasm succeed in walling it in. We now have a big zone here of pain thro in the person a lapse of the memory at this moment the neurotic shape of the conscious of this being is like this, I obstruct it that is the shape of this being as it feels itself to be conscious. One day another pain comes to it and this spreads out, this will impinge on the band of another pain and perhaps on the middle and you can see immediately that the shape of this being consciously is now like this. You see that being has 2 bits of consciousness, that being is technically a schizophrene there are zones of his unconscious here that he knows nothing about if we subject him to another painful stimulus on the other side and this is very strong and penetrates to the middle we reduce him to a shape something like this, a little bit on the inside with a thin bit here,he is now a schizophrene with 3 personalities.

Still hidden inside his substance are the painful experiences that have cut him into bits. They are still there and because they are still there it is possible to recover this man and remake him whole if they really didnít exist, if the protoplasm had the power to throw them away absolutely†† you couldnít cure him because there wouldnít be a him to cure now there would be 3 himís and cure would be impossible. The fact that those pains zones still exist inside him means there is a possibility of his re-entering the whole state again

Now he doesnít remember whole zones of his experience ,when Podaya says here ĎI feel as if I am betraying,í he means he should be a whole man and he should be in a whole relationship with another man and if in fact through the lapse of memory caused by painful experiences unassimilated and through this he is not a whole man but he is several bits of man but with expecting barren ??? this differentiating process he is betraying himselfbecause he should be a whole man he is betraying other beings because of this he is betraying other beings because he cannot wholly relate to himself unless he is whole.

Now how do we recover these zones of unconsciousness inside ourselves if when we come to think consciously we are deprived of the necessary data from the contents of those painful zones? No matter how hard we try to think in a conscious zone, that conscious zone has no data in it that can release the painful formal content of the pain zone. These pain zones are the depression zones of the ordinary psychology. There is only one possible way for such a zone to be cleared that is by consciously taking your initiative into the pain, that is running into the painful thing inside oneself We can feel zones of sensitivity, zones of pain inside ourselves and we tend to run away from them. If we do run away from them we can never become whole, somehow we have got to learn to face positively the thing inside ourselves that we donít want to face. When we say we donít want to face it we are saying this a man might think he is this shape and there is a whole area of his being unknown so when he says ĎIí must face my unconscious he is identified with the conscious piece if himself and he is misusing the term ĎIí and if he remembers the observer is not the observed†† and that the immanent spirit or the inner self is the real ĎIí then that I is not identified with the conscious elements unrepressedbut it is identified with pure consciousness itself and the question first here isthis memory the memory referred to by Gurdjieff is the one that conquers death by consciousness we are referring to the paper and by memory is the marks upon the paper, considered as existence fastened to vibes upon which we can call so consciousness is not the memory but the totality of objects to be presented in the consciousness. Iif we donít have anything to rememberconsciousness has nothing to strike against and therefore is non objective, if we have the paper with no drawing on then the paper does not know that it is a paper it only knows it is a paper if we do a drawing on it . Consciousness knows itself as consciousness consciously only when there is an objective and bouncing against it feeling the resistance, resistance is an essential part of self consciousness.

Here we get again a positive value for the individual a finite individual is a resistance inserted into an infinite field of awareness without that resistance there would be infinite awareness but the infinite awareness would be merely infinite, that is to say not finite, that is to say non objectified, that is to say valueless. As far as we are concerned it would be as if it were not, it would be like a not awareness and it has been so called by some of the mystics, it is a non knowing itís an unknowing, a knowing of an un objective state but it isnít a reflexive knowing because a reflexive knowing is a knowing one gets when one bends back and meets oneself in the resistance. When you close your hand and grip your fingers against your palm with your thumb over your fingers as you do this process of self gripping you become objectified and aware of yourself very sharply; if you relax totally you become less aware of yourself objectively relax and if you are not careful you will lapse into sleep. If you are even careless in sleep, you may lapse into nirvana in which case as an individual you will not exist and you will not qualify to be an occidental representative man.

The function of the finite object is to provide a resistance so that one can discover the actual powers of consciousness itself there is a funny German word gegenwerfen,gegen is against and werfen is to throw it means something thrown against and is usually translated as counter struck but really it means something thrown against and if you throw yourself against a wall in order to see how much force you have ,if you throw yourself against at a piece of tissue paper stretched over a hoop you will go through very easily, against a drum skin on less easily if you throw yourself at a solid piece of hardboard well nailed on aframe you will find it a little harder to get through and you might lose your ears in the process. If you throw yourself at a mass of concrete you will discover the limits of your individual power and the object of throwing against this is another word for devil, diablos, the object of it is to discover the possibilities of consciousness itself, it can only be done in opposition.

Now Podaya is feeling bad about the betrayal of oneself and others thro the lapse of memory, memory cannot lapse unless it is painful ,remember that the vibrations inside our substance are permanent ,so lapse of memory cannot mean the absolute cessation of the vibration, it can only mean the repression of the vibration, the reduction of the amplitude of the wave to get it down as near as possible to no wave but it always is a wave and that is all that lapse of memory means, the reduction of the amplitude forcing it down as near to the straight line as possible the sea looks very calm but if you watch it very carefully it isnít static something is always going on there and it is the same with this memory.

Now he thinks it awful to betray but he hasnít quite seen at this point of his evolution that betrayal is a phase that one must go through if one is to develop the potentialities of consciousness because without the gegen†† point the resistance, one cannot discover oneís own nature properly, supposing we have a zone of unconscious caused by pain, that is the lapse of the memory of a particular event and of particular relations with certain people, supposing you over valued a certain thing called X and you are aware that the over valuation of this thing was causing a disequilibriumin your whole being, it could then become painful for you to over value that thing and you could decide to wall it from inside so that you forget that stress value ,you deliberately reject it because it is overvalued, remember Nietzsche said:

ĎThe trouble with great men is they fascinate, they can paralyse oneís individual initiative if a man is too great , if say if god incarnates in Christ, if he were to show too much of his capacity too quickly without preparation no body dare move if he did what he did on Jo and show then his right arm†† no-on would be prepared to stand up to oppose him and stand for a gegen point for him because they would expect to get knocked down. So periodically throughout life in its various phases certain things have to be hidden, the energy inside has to suppress them so that one doesnít become fascinated by them and then the conscious parts of the being when they try to work a problem out they initiate a motion in themselves, that motion goes to a limiting factor that the limiting factor is the zone of pain into which they cannot enter, they then bounce against that zone of pain and return the motion into the consciousness and generate anotherzone of formal content which we integrate into understanding laterof consciousness. So that between 2 pain zones inside the con certain energies are battened together produce formal reverberations which ultimately enlighten that being in a way that he could not have been enlightened without those painful zones existing ,so in that sense the betrayal of something a favourite idea ,the betrayal of oneself or of another person is a phase through which one must go at sometime in oneís life. You see this in small boys who have friends one boy might get a terrible attachment to one boyand he can only play with that boy and he canít play with another boy so he never knows what other boys are like because he is always playing with this boy there gradually builds up inside him there becomes an awareness in and suddenly they have a trmendous quarrel they donít know why but it is stored up energy from other parts of their beingdemanding that this relation be broken because it is tyrannising over the whole being. And so these very close friends have a terrible blow up and at this point they run away and find new friendsand if they didnít make that break up they couldnítfind their new friends and if they didnít find them they wouldnít know much about the world,they would only know something about their special relationship. They wouldnít be equipped to deal with other aspects of the world so in this sense the immanent spirit,†† the inner self sends messages where the attachment is too great and breaks it down. Remember Abraham and Lot they had to quarrel over a question of feeding ground and water and Abraham says to Lot a man and his friend must part at this point, so now you choose if you to the right I to the left, if you to the left, I to the right, Lot makes a funny choice and gets into trouble but the fact is they had to part. If they had not parted then later on Abraham would not have met a very important person in his career because he wouldnít have had to chase about fighting a little war and trying to do a spot of rescue work and therefore he wouldnít have come into contactwith an essential idea of his evolution at some point the anamic egg has to cut itself in half he has to take out his Eve and throw it away and his Adam and he has to turn them back on each other and fight and say harsh wordsas every lady knows and will say to their husband in privatesometimes it is necessary to be naughty because if there is no opposition throwing mutually against each other there can be no growth and understanding ,no discovery of new levels of relations and the whole thing would lapse into sleep.

Half of the picture of the universe can be a nice double settee with shut eyes in it holding hands sitting together it looks very nice and is a sort of pipe dream for 20 years olds it is the equivalent of falling back into the mud and the deep inner self in each of them is resenting this. After a time he feels the tips of her finger nails and she hasnít filed them as careful y this week as she did last week and so on and he mentions it and this of course is the beginning of a deeper understanding. She then reveals a little firework that sheís been hiding that showers golden rain upon you. This is absolutely essential for individual development. So the curious thing about Podayaís betrayal idea is this correctly understood a betrayal is a deliberate act of the inner self not always but frequently a deliberate act of the inner self to eliminate itself from a too great devotion on a part of ones being.

Letís look at 3 part beings now you can tell which is whichand a tremendous preoccupationfor the short period and in this period other parts of the being are complaining and sending messages down there are other things like you havenít done your homework and so on these things gradually pile up and there is a cut off. Suddenly something happens the thing wonít work anymore it doesnít matter what it is you devote yourself to ††if you devote yourself for too long to one part of the being you will saturate that part and block it with the by products of activity and then it canít function and only when it canít function do you gain the opportunity for paying attention to other parts of your being that have been neglected and ultimately as the Greek said if you can pay a certain amount of attentionall over the being then you will equilibrate, butthe tendency is to go towards certain zones because they offer greater pleasures than other zones which they do because nature has its own purpose within the individual purpose. The paper represents pure consciousness, the vibrations within the paper represent memory so the consciousness is not the memory and the consciousness is not the memory but the memory provides the formal content which the consciousness perceives and the consciousness is the guarantee that the vibrations of memory shall be evaluated.

To increase our awareness we have to cut down on the zones of unconsciousness inside ourselves, as long as there is a zone of unconsciousness in us caused initially by pain, we do not have the power to balance our whole being. A man who has been cut by painful stimuli into various beings reduced to the level of perhaps purely a schizophrene shaped in this manner that man cannot act wholly cannot complete his evolution. Such a man must become dissatisfied with the parts of his consciousness he has and he will then betray them now the betrayal of these conscious parts of the man who has been split by pain is an essential in his return to health and this betrayal is what we call the neurotic or psychotic syndrome there is a complex of symptoms running together and they are his waking conscious contribution to his life. He is thinking in an erroneous badly accented manner and he doesnít like what he is thinking and so he goes against it and hebetrays it although it is him and his experience and he goes against it and he goes for help, treatment to regain how wholeness. The only way he can be made whole again is by restoring to him the unconscious parts which are previous betrayals, parts of himself that have been betrayed by the non acceptance of painful situations.

If we look at betrayal we are merely saying that there is a law function there which has been broken. 2 men agree on a certain proposition, because they have agreed on this proposition and are committed to it, they can trust each other because they have the same idea. Now if one of the men now changes his idea without saying so and goes away the other man will say he has been betrayed. He has been betrayed because the partner has abandoned that to which he had declared himself attached he has a symbol up here to symbolise the law but A and B have agreed to observe this law A goes awayand forgets all about it and Bdeclares that A has betrayed their trust but A hadanother reason for going awayhe wasnít betraying the trust he had noticed a peculiar thing about the law as defined to which A&Bhave committed themselves and he has decided that law was not adequately defined it was deficient in some way, not sufficient data so he went away to find the data in his going away he has not betrayed himself but it was defined as a betrayal by his colleague he is really being true to himself in betraying that deficient image. Like Francis Tonkin said on one occasion on certain religious organisation disorganisation their treacherous trueness and their loyal deceit he was referring to his co-religionists who were so busy being true to the dogmatic form that they allowed each other to starve. They were starving at the time he had the thought, he was looking for a higher concept, they were looking for a formal dogma and ritual, a procedure to stick to, a security mechanism, and he saw higher truth and went to get it. They defined him as a bad member of their church, he saw through their devotion to the security ritual saw them being true to their ritual they were being untrue to the free spirit behind the ritual, he could see more than they could . Later on of course when he became a very famous accepted poet and then he was accepted after death of course, into the fold like many another force that was no longer a threat it could be assimilated and be given a crown.

Most important of all is this fact to remember, to rememberis to make again a member, there is the Ďmemí the substance the zone the limiting factor running about the differentiating to turn this thing back on itself , to differentiate all the forces within this being continuously, is continuous remembrance> Now you remember in the Bhagavad Gita which it defines worship is continual remembrance if we forget the great principle which principle I have just drawn, if we forget that principle and the continuously dynamic flow of spirit, at the moment of forgetting it we betray it, we betray the whole when we are faithful to the part to the exclusion of the whole, so if a man decides to concentrate on a given aspect of his being, in the act of concentrating on that part, if he concentrates on it believing it to be a supreme value in itself, he has betrayed his wholeness but if he concentrates upon that thing in order to understand it ,in order to bring it back into the whole then he has not betrayed it, but another person on the outside not understanding his purpose would think he had betrayed himself by devoting himself to that particular. So in the field of science one man might devote himself to trying to make a given thing like good year making rubber tyres while he is doing this and before he succeeds other people might say he has betraying the trust his wife has placed in him, he is getting on with a perfectly useless activity if he manages to put a mixture in the oven and spoils her cake every time he spoils the cake he is betraying her and his promise to her and then one day he puts it in the oven and spoils a lovely sponge cake and brings out a motor tyre and that is fate . Now he is no longer betraying her and so the question of what is and what is not betrayal depends on the purpose for which it is being done and whether ultimately it succeeds

P is accusing himself of betraying because he canít remember, he canít remember, because pain has come to him and been rejected and in rejecting the pain he has rejected the experience. Now the symbol of Christianity means the acceptance of pain, the affirmation of a negation, it doesnít matter how painful that thing is if you dare to run towards it and examine it as it comes in you can assimilate it. It is then not technically pain because you are not refusing it you are accepting it and it does not feel the same if you accept it. You may have seen a child in the dentist chair before it is touched , it is keyed up and screaming, it hasnít yet been touched but it is rejecting the very idea of it where the dentist firmly takes it compassionately by the throat and inserts the forceps in the childís whole condition of hypertension is such that it is going to be hurt far more than it usually hurts. If on the other hand it becomes possible to enlighten the child about the necessity of suffering certain orders of discomfort for higher orders of comfort, then the child may be opened up to accept these things and in the moment of acceptance a lot of tension that is concentrated in the zone is removed and immediately the protoplasm there is able to assimilate the motion much more easily.If you can consciously relax in a painful situation the relaxation reduces the amount of pain and if you can bring yourself to total relaxation then it comes to total annihilation of pain because pain means the refusal . If then when a painful stimulus comes and starts to spread to the organism if we stop that pain spreading because it is painwe have betrayed our wholeness and betrayed our relationship to the universe because we have refused to something that the universe has offered we donít like it. Christ has called it all things to all men because we have accepted all kinds of stimuli. Now we cannot expect a child initially to accept pain as it comes to it because the child is echoing the evolution of the race and the child is in a state identification with its protoplasm so that when a motion comes towards it and it is coming a little fast difficult to assimilate the child contract to try to keep it out and this contraction increases the pain if we can gradually teach this child to accept painand teach it to open itself to it then it becomes less painful and the child becomes wiser and able to assimilate more of the universe.

Imagine in the case of the space fliers those men who would not like to submit to the process of training,hard training for space flight will not be able to go to interplanetary journeys they will be as sick relatively as first timers on a Manx boat. No matter how small or how large the assimilations problem is if you donít assimilate then you canít go into the zone

Some day going from the earth human beings ,some of them those who have faced the pain ,will be able to go quite comfortably tremendous distances but only those who have faced the necessity of assimilating strange new stimuli will be able to get there, the others who donít face this problem of assimilation will have to stay where they are and ultimately every finitezone istaken to bits by the inevitable process of time so if those beings refusing to face pain have got themselves stuck in one position, when that position is taken to bits as it is inevitable by psychic law, they will suffer all the pains in the moment of that disintegration that they have avoided throughout the whole of their being. All these things add up so the end result of this statement is memory is the formal motions of the substance, consciousnessis that in which these forms are presented and whereby we know that the forms exist,painful zones are zones rejected, they have a positive use in so far as reflection between the pain zone and the nano zone causes differentiation of motion and therefore increase the knowledge but if they remain merely negative and locked up permanently the pain zones are a betrayal of the wholeness of the being , so we have to accept that there are painful zones for a time. Try to understand the meaning, meaning is always between, what is the meaning of these 2 pains and that which is between them, consciousness. Consciousness is stimulated by these 2 pain zones it is made to think in ways it would not think without those pains and to affirm the value of the thought process arising from the painsis to convert a negative into a positive, if we take all the walls down prematurely from all pains the being will lapse into a state prior to the level its aiming at, it will remain at a low level and not attain maturity, maturity is the state when the substance of that being has actually made itself into lawits marked torah, it is the affirmation and the establishment of the law in that substance and the law is the law of the assimilation of all possible stimuli. The being that can teach himself and have the courage to teach himself to absorb all stimuli of whatever character, that being is an immortal being the being who flinches from any given character or stimulus and rejects it and cannot assimilate and in so doing it suddenly makes himself un whole and the part of himself where the division is, is going to split and that is his mortality. So all rejected pain zones which are left permanently rejected will guarantee the mortality of that being because they will split off and all pain zones assimilated in their due time not prematurely, all pain zones assimilated are a restatement of a wholeness but at a higher level than the original wholenessyou had before the pain. Your whole state before you have any pain is the state of a being with a flux of motion in it but with no tension in it and no objective consciousness. We have already falsified it by drawing a circle I have drawn the circle there to locate the being and made it abstract by drawing nothing on the inside, that being is a unity prior to analysis, a pre-analytical unity it is a unity but of a very low order and quite useless and if we put inside this unity a form that spins round and characterised it,its value increases and this becomes not an abstract idea but a fact. This diagram now represents a being with characteristic motions geometrising and illuminating it and filling it with formal understanding†† but unless it gets a resistance all this formal understanding will be at the same level and it will be like living in a field of plutonic ideas with no super stresses so you will know everything at the same level of intensity. You will know nothing more clearly than you know anything else which is the equivalent to not knowing anything very well everything is stresses in exactly the same way and the consequently it is as if there wasno stress so you needthe gegen werf you need something throwing at you to hit you and then the characteristic stimulus here causes a reverberation within your being and according to the nature of that stimulus it sets up certain super stresses inside the being and draws a form, it doesnít draw a form that isnít there, but it super stresses one that is there and makes you very sharply conscious of the fact that you knew something but didnít know you that you knew it. Everybody has had this experience as something there in the mind they didnít know what it is they canít quite vocalise it and then suddenly something hits them and they go Ďah thatís it I knew it was that thing,í Now we know everything prior to the analytical process, we know all but with the aid of stimuli coming in and hitting us we are allowed to build upcertain formal patterns in ourself and super stressand become aware not only of all but of each and then to relate all these eaches within whatever they are and increase our understanding. When the whole process is completed looking backwards from that moment it is seen that there has been no betrayal but until the whole process is completed you can say there is still some betrayal left ,either of the whole by the part or on the part by the concept of the whole not yet reached.


Yes you can think about the meaning of that fact and add to it, not make a verbal statement the observer is not the observed but add to it this fact; the paper is the observer only when he serves an ob and if he doesnít move he hasnít made a form, if he does move he makes a form. Iíll draw a circle to represent the movement on the paper that movement is an object but that object is of the subject it is not the subject it is of the subject. It is a self motion that brings the object into being the motion is the object now the observer presupposes that the object has been made it is not a server of ob unless it has made ob, so if the paper does not vibrate at all then there is no object and the paper is then not an observer, it is serving nothing at all, but as soon as it begins to move it is then an observer because it is serving an ob. When you know that fact you know that as soon as you begin to move you have objectified this means as soon as you begin to define even verbally a situation,you have objectified but as soon as you objectify you cause a gegenwerf you cause a diabolic throw against your being you cause a threat because you have defined. Now you remember the short talk we had about the fool in the tarot on one occasion, we talked about his refusal of definitions, a fool for Christ sake is the man who goes to all situations without defining them, he is just busy accepting them all and going through them but he isnít saying what it is he is accepting because if he did so he would objectify them.

There he is walking on the edge of the precipice carelessly and you say to him you are walking on the edge of a precipice and he says what is a precipice what is walking over he is walking over there is a dog jumping at his feet here and you say is the dog biting you or is he wanting to warn you.

He says I donít know he maybe wanting a bone, he maybe wanting to warn me, he maybe wanting to bite me maybe he wants me to pat him I donít know, I donít define and because he doesnít define it, it can have no effect on him.

He walks about in the realm of the beast, that is the state and he cannot read the definitions, he canít fill in a form, he canít even read his own name he does not know his name gives it to the Irish woman next door and she fills it in; by this continuous conscious process of the refusal of a definition, he refuses objectification and in refusing objectification, he escapes the consequences of objectification. His level of awareness therefore that is transcendent of the objectifying level but the objectifying level exists below him and in the figure of the chariot, the driver in the chariot, you have another kind of individualnot one that refuses definition, the one that drives through definition as he sees them. He has seen them and he is going to go through them he sees the policeman on the gate and goes through the policeman on the gate kissing him fondly on the helmet as he goes by,this man is totally different from the fool and all these subsets coexist inside every individual you have a very ,very high level which refuses definition this is the fool level and he corresponds with the non dualist level of the advayita chankara philosophy. He says all definitions are nothing they are negatives and therefore I walk about regardless but another being like the hermit is going along with his light discovering himself and he has defined a self to discover and another being the emperor in us who is busy ruling the material world that we have to rule in coming into contact with it at all. All these are different levels of the same being.

In relation to avoidance of pain the fool is the best friend. Remember Socrates saying what is good what is bad is it bad to be sick? Yes. so you are sick in bed and you canít go yachting with your 2 friends and they go alone is that bad, yes thatís bad, your 2 friends drown at sea and you are still in bed ill is that good or bad no that is good You canít tell unless you define.

So the fool is beyond good and evil because he refuses to define and his refusal to define makes him transcendent of every situation, a lady rolls her eyes at him he doesnít even know it is a lady consequently he canít get into trouble whatever he gets into he doesnít tell them becausehe never noticed the definition

So there is no control over him whatsoever by the definitional entities and so nobody can say a word about him other than he is a fool that is too say he is one of those beings that blows thro the pain and escapes beyond the punctuated, punctilious and positedinto the infinite but he is only a top level awareness inside every being.

Most people focus down below on the significance of another card called sometimes the devil and sometimes marriage there is a man and a woman chained together and the chain goes through a ring in hard block of stone upon which the devil sits in all his glory, that is another level of the same being . All these beings stand one above another in special order and this fool is supreme figure of in definition, refusal for identification. The hanged man is the same man at another level, he is the man that accepts the fact that he is crucified by his will, his activity but the whole man knows that he is a fool and that he is a hanged man and he is an emperor and a grand hierarch as well...

The whole man contains all these levels of being symbolised in those cards but the supreme one that†† releases all of them is the fool because ultimately all the definitions have to be rubbed out in order toobtain the freedom of spirit then when you say the observer is not the observedremember that the observer is only not the observed when it is not serving an ob, not to serve the ob is the same thing as to refuse to define the situation in which you are and whilst you are refusing in feeling to define this thing at another level of you can watch and define it you can sit in the dentist chairif you like and you can be transcendentat one level and at the same time you can listen to the buzzing of the drill at another level with another using, The intellectual level to get the actual sounds and the sensory stimuli without the rejection that causes the pain

so when you say the observer is not the ob do not allow it to degenerate into a ritual donít let it come down to the point where constant stimulation is equal to no stimulation donít let it be merely a verbal thing†† every time you use, it feed into it some more thought so that you understand it better and better and better. The observer is only an observer when it is serving an ob when the paper is not vibrating it is not an ob when it vibrates because it is the cause of the vibrationit is serving the vibration it can stop causing, it can makes itself lie down thatís the prali the lying down stage and when it makes itself lie down its inhibiting, it is reduced the amplitude of those waves down nearly to zero and the whole universe for it ceases to exist but it is inhibiting it as soon as it removes thisinhibiting force the universe it bounces to existence again, presented with an object and it is then an observer.

You may remember the argument between Brahmaand Vishnu on one occasion aboutwho was the greater Brahma was the creator of the material world and Vishnu was the life in that world and when they are arguing suddenly a big column of fire and light comes and it goes right up and right down and Brahma decides to go to see where it goes to the top and Vishnu goes down to see where it goes to the bottom and they canít find these limits and they come back and say what a marvellous thing it is and suddenly out of this column steps Shiva , Shiva is the other person in the trinity and he said while you 2 were arguing I was making this column. He represents this tremendous power of concentrated will Brahma is creating the material world, Vishnu is being a life process within it butShiva has the power by concentrating his attention of following the whole thing up and because he is following it up and so he is called the destroyer he destroys phenomena by simply folding it into a little spot in the centre of the his intelligence the bindu , one posited point, almost in its propagation from place to place, so it is a line is simply a point moving and the plane is that line moving and the 3 dimensional form the cubeis that plane moving at right angles to itself,all depends on the point but a point in geometry as you know, is a location without dimension it is infinitely small , infinitely large and therefore in that point is embraced the line, the plane and the volume. So Shiva who has this power to concentrate into a point can reduce the whole phenomenal play of definitions to one definition and this one definition is simply it is a point moving which I makeand he suppresses or destroys phenomena in that act and when he has made that point he controlled everything and at this point if he wishes he can give way to the foolwho looks at it and doesnít even know that it is a point and this escapeseven the concentrated level and this of course is paradoxicalto be able to concentrate on a point without phenomenadisappearingand yetsomehow there isnít any phenomena at all in the all that is the highest grade of formthat is one step beyond zero....